Saying good-bye to 2012

Happy NEW YEAR!!! May 2013 be a better year for all!!! :D

A year ago, ushered in 2012 in Ipoh with Deary, sis and Zan... Today, I'm going to say good-bye to 2012 and usher in 2013 in JB with Deary...

It has been an eventful year. As expected a Dragon year is often a year full of misfortunes for a Dragon... it has been quite a difficult year for me, especially on my health... With platelet counts dropping to as low as 16, and few other occassions where platelet counts is at a worrying level, I wonder if my positive outlook on life and everything is useful. Always heard that being optimistic and having a positive outlook on life is beneficial to all types of illnesses, but why doesn't it seemed to be the case? Anyway, due to all these low platelets, doc intro a new type of med, which cost more than $10 everyday... Well, if the med is good, then i wun mind the money, afterall, nothing is more important than our health... however, it doesn't seemed to be very good.. or perhaps it is, its just that my rashes are making me all stressed out that i cant seem to focus on the effectiveness of the med... these persistant rashes has been causing me so much stress and inconvenience... it causes lack of confidence as well... really really hope that it will go away soon, as it has gotten slightly better now..

身体状况每况愈下，也不知未来的展望如何……不禁让我联想到“金色摩天轮”里的沈君君。不敢奢望太多，只希望能够开心地度过每一天，并尽量让每一天过得充实，过得有意义。那天和NIE的同学聚会，聊了不少，晓珊向我说了一些她在台湾的经历，以及她的一些感想。不知为何，就有一种想要多了解的心态。因此向她要了一些详情。当时，内心深处曾萌起那么一个念头。那么一个骇人的念头。也许是已厌倦这种起伏不定的病情吧。不过我想，只要没有太大的波动，安于现状未尝不是好事。

2012年，工作还算顺利，没有什么大风大浪，可以说是平平凡凡地过了一年。展望2013，相信事业上会有些许转变。将负责两项较大的活动，希望一切也能够顺顺利利！

这一年，姐姐结婚了。虽然她的家离我们不远，但感觉就是不一样。她出嫁的那一晚，我失眠了。虽然她婚前也常常不在家，但就是有种说不出的不舍，有种莫名的想念……

总是觉得，和父母出国是最幸福的。好享受，好享受那8天的桂林之旅。希望年年都能如此。只求大家都身体安康，那么就能无忧无虑地尽情出国游玩了！

2012年，曾有那么一段时期，好似做了一场梦，想沉睡不醒，想沉迷其中。纵有甜美的感觉，却难免有些许的不安。只想单纯地相处，无需将它复杂化。如梦初醒，一切记忆犹新。抱着美好的回忆，继续展望未来！

4天的病假，一整个星期的休息，让我能在家里好好充电，养好身子。

昨晚刚在面簿上发表“期盼着雨后的晴天”，真的好希望晴天能赶快到来，让红斑赶快消失。

迷惘

究竟是造化弄人，还是人无定力？

感情与感觉，如何抉择？茫茫人海中……

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不一样的中秋

今天是中秋节。一个不一样的中秋节。找不回从前的感觉，搞不懂内心的玄奥，摸不透凌乱的思绪。

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第二次以教师的身份庆祝教师节。感触良多。喜欢孩子们的童真，但却常因他们不肯认真而感到无奈。凡事尽量以微笑面对，开心地度过每一天，是我做人的宗旨，但却谈何容易啊！ 昨天在小三的差班班上讲故事，看见同学们认真地听，还主动向我把书借去，令我深感安慰。看来我得改变我的教学方式，以有趣的故事讲解词语？ 今天，有个愉快的庆祝会，之后又去打了一场羽球。简单的约会，不在乎时间的长短，却总能让我开心一整天。 此外，也发了一封电邮给以前中正的老师。他竟然花时间回复我！好感动啊！回想起中正的日子，真的好怀念，好怀念啊。虽然有些不愉快的事件，令我一度逃避现实，毕业后也不肯回去，以免触景伤情，但是这一切已成为过去。人是会长大的。如今回头想想，那也不过是一次磨练，一个让我成长的经验。或许，这就是所谓的相对论？A和B相比，B如果比较差，而你又不拿他它和其他相比，那么你或许是就会断定它是最差的。但是，如果出现了一个C，而C又比B差，那么，C是不是就成了最差的呢？如果无视世界上的芸芸众生，千百事件，那么之前的断定都能成立。但是，身处于天地之间，万物并存，我们真的能无视吗？2004年，我曾经觉得那是天大的事件，再也不会有更糟的事情发生。现在想想，那时的事也没什么，怎么就让我如此萎靡不振，甚至想要放弃？2006年至今，又是另一段令我累积经验的成长过程。一开始，也觉得自己不会再遇到更糟的事了。不过经过这6年，我学会了，没有什么是不可能发生的。时好时坏的病情，让我领悟到了活着的意义，让我明白了生命的重要。可以算是因祸得福吧。因为我觉得正是这种种经历，让我更懂得体恤他人，更有怜悯之心。虽然偶尔还是会因为他人因不知情而作出的评语感到痛心，但是我更明白，外表只不过是个躯壳，无需太在意。健康才是最重要的。生命中的某个他也曾对我说：“你要健康还是要漂亮？”还记得当时我笑着回答：“两个都想要。”他没有回答我，而我心里也明白，在当时的情况下，只能选其一。不知会不会有那么一天，我能和普通人一样，无需在两者之间做抉择？

Trying something new...

今天我遇到一个人，令我想起了他。总觉得他的言行举止，给我似曾相识的感觉。看着他谈笑风生的神态，不免令我追溯往事……

一个原本满怀抱怨的早晨，竟变得如此地有趣，实在是世事难预料啊！8年前，曾有过那么一个与他共事的梦想。如今，有让我重燃了这沉睡已久梦想。

近来，总有一些很奇异的想法，总有一些很唐突的念头。不知为何，想在平凡的生活中寻求刺激。

到底是哪个“他”，令我产生了这种念头？

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尝试

人的一生，有许许多多的机会等待我们去迎接。尝试，虽然不能确保成功，而且还有可能带来挫折。但若不尝试，就永远是个未知。

应该再次踏出一步，敢于尝试吗？一次的挫折，令我感到萎缩。

安于现状，不肯改变，是可取的吗？

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Updates of my life...

well.. since my bday post, quite a no of thing happened.. teaching has been quite alright.. getting used to it.. had Vibe branz concert on the last day of term 2 to celebrate our school's 15 anniversary. Afterwhich went to Guangzhou with parents and Korea from 31st may to 4th June. First time bringing parents along for free and easy trip!还好是有惊无险。爸爸妈妈都很开心，也很想再去。看哪天有空，再带他们去吧。看见他们那么开心，我也觉得很开心。

从广州回来后，就到柬埔寨去了。和俊凯尝试了9天8夜游，全程自助。事先做了好些功课，因此整个行程还算顺利。起初最担心的是从柬埔寨暹罗到泰国曼谷的路程，因为网上的评语都显得不很乐观。不过还好，一切都顺利，而且路途也还挺舒服的。亲身莅临暹罗的吴哥窟，感觉就是和在电视和/书本上看的不一样。好壮观，好雄伟啊！令人不得不佩服古人的智慧。

参观了这世界奇景，接下来要参观什么呢？老实说，在暹罗的那三晚，除了第一晚充满了期待，另外两晚都是“借酒消愁”。愁接下来应该要到什么地方旅游。之前一直把到吴哥窟当作梦想。现在梦想实现了，顿时有种错愕。好似没了前进的目标。我当然晓得世界之大，还有很多地方等待我去探索。但是，除了吴哥窟，我最想去的便是西藏了。然而，要寻得知音一同共游西藏，谈何容易啊！欧美国家当然也在我的“一生必到之国”里，但就是没那么期待。

不晓得有机会踏入藏地吗？

人生之事，起伏不定。生命中的某个“他”曾以过山车、股票行情等来形容我的病情。再恰当不过啊！

有些事，闷在心里久了，也不知要从何说起。总觉得少了些心灵的沟通。是因为工作忙碌吗？还是借口？毕竟，有些话题不碰较好。逃避未曾不是上策……

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My 24th Birthday!

My 24th birthday happens to fall on the day before the long weekend, hence I get to really enjoy and celebrate my birthday with Deary, as well as my lovely family and friends...

On my actual birthday, left sch only at 6, but Deary pick me up and brought me for dinner at Bedok hawker centre... it was a great dinner, cos he knows that I do not fancy high class restaurants and prefer hawker food =) after dinner, we went to East Coast Park for a stroll, and he gave me my present there, a bouquet of 24 doraemon soft toys!!! so nice and lovely =D

On good Friday, we went out for brunch at Yum Cha, for my fav dim sum! Afterwhich he brought me to view the Titanic exhibitions at ArtScience Museum at MBS, a place I yearn to go since last year... Then in the evening meet up with sis, zan and friends for board games at Settlers.. played many fun games, like the story-telling game.. hehe.. after the games, headed to Wheelock to meet up with NIE gals! the sweet gals gave me Mango vouchers and treated me to a lovely cake =) chatted about teaching stuff (as usual), haha it was nice catching up, sharing stories, and complaining/encouraging each other...

Sat, collected my phone from service centre, Samsung is nice to change the Motherboard of the phone for me, so its like a brand new phone now, but sad to say, I'm still facing the same prob, cant make outgoing calls or send smses when using 3G network... so they suggest I feedback to M1, which I did, but they cant seem to do anything about it... have to complain more before they really do something about it... afterthat, meet up with Deary and we went to Sentosa for iFLY! it was a GREAT flying experience!!! Much much more fun than expected =) Makes me feel like going for the real sky diving!!! Haha.. collected race pack at Velocity after the flight, then went for dinner and some shopping at Marina Square... Deary actually planned to treat me to Chocolate buffet at Fullerton, but I rejected the offer, hahah cos wasn't wearing very nice, and haven't been exercising alot recently =P

Today, went Ubin for the Mangrove kayaking with Deary, sis and Wendy, it was nice paddling in the mangrove, listening to the birds chirping, watching monkeys jumping around the trees, seeing mudskippers and hermit crabs... being so close to the nature, so relaxed, forgets all the hustle bustle of the city... makes me think of the Firefly trip back in 2005.... the peaceful river in Desaru, wonderful memories.....

All in all, it was a great 24th birthday celebration for me, with all the great presents i received, and great company over the days...

Life is all about enjoyment isn't it? =D

On another note, tried out TCM since last mon, though the med is bitter and a little troublesome, but am hoping that the alt treatment will be effective... Dare not hope for a complete cure, but just wish that it can control the illness better, and i can lead a life that is as normal as a normal person...

阔别多年……

阔别多年，再次回到中正，有种说不出的感觉。黄昏时分，校园已是一片寂静。能够和老师聊聊天，叙叙旧，感觉挺不错的。只可惜，我仍旧无法释怀。当年的事件，仍是阴影。

健康问题是否从那时开始，就亮起了红灯？血小板莫名的低，已是超不健康的水平，甚至到达需要留院观察的阶段。但一切还需照常，工作依旧，一切一切都需要如期完成，没有得找借口。突然觉得好累好累。生活究竟为了什么？竭尽所能，却无法让病情好转。纵使我再怎么乐观，也会有感到泄气的时候。真是无奈！

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New Year Resolutions

My resolution for 2011:
1. Have family trip to China
2. Travel to exotic place (Cambodia/Borobudur)
3. Participate in more voluntary work
4. Exercise at least 3 times a week.
5. Keep in contact with good old friends
6. Read more!

Travelled to Taiwan instead of China.. And it was a great trip!! Taiwanese are some much more friendly! Traveled to Borobudur too!! insightful trip, next up planning for Cambodia and Tibet! Exercise wise, I think I managed it quite well... Really not much time spent to do voluntary work... Think I need to adapt to working life first...

Here comes the New Year Resolution for 2012:

1. Travel to Cambodia/Tibet
2. Stay healthy
3. No parents' complain for disciplinary issues in class
4. Finish reading Tibet Code!
5. Finish doing the puzzle for sis & Zan
6. Enjoy life!

I just hope to enjoy life, and be healthy.. thats the most important thing.. really dun wish to go for the splenectomy as suggested by dr lui... though it may sound like a permanent solution instead of living on steriods for e rest of my life... but it may also have other complications... well just take a step at a time, and enjoy life and keep learning new stuff!!!

New year, new beginnings in 2012!

Yet another year passes by! Its been a great 2011, with a lot of changes for me... ended my years of education, joined the profession of teaching and became an official teacher. Tried travelling alone. Got new flat with Deary. Changed my status from being single to engaged towards the end of 2011. Got to know many great colleagues who became great friends, both from GDPS & WSPS. Travelled to many places in the year... its been a great and fruitful year, learnt a lot, grew up, became stronger, more persevered?

In this dragon year of 2012, hopefully things will be as good, if not better. ^_^

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