so many days no blog le.... lol.. veri lazy... hmm... wanna thx dongjie for the ecard first... haha.. though she may nt read tis la, bt thx...
den back to these few days.. nth much basically... juz went sch for lectures with so many breaks in between for mi to slack... lol... yup den yest meet our civics tutor...she's quite nice.... ya den the overseas cip trip... i wanna go.... bt my parents dun allow...sobz....
hmm.. den tomolo got orientation nite... dunno wan go or not leh... cos sat hav to wake up early cos goin malaysia with family....

so long neber blog le... sick again.. lol.. sehz... bt feel so much beta after sleeping for i tink 13 hrs? lol...
tj's orientation realli cannot make it wor... so sianz... n tink mani ppl pon today's amazing race... n their mass dance cannot make it also... haha... nj one nicer... lol.. erm... dunno wat to blog bout... so tired.... lucky i never go for the amazing race... else sure die there.. lol... tomolo goin gh's hse to bbq... bt dun tink i can eat... sobz....

lyrics of bai yue guang... realli m wat im feeling... had always luv tis song.. bt never realli notice the lyrics.. until i saw it from the disc gh give mi... seems tat its so close to mi... realli... mei ge ren dou you yi duan bei shang... xiang yin cang yu zai sheng zhang....

白月光　心里某个地方　那么亮　却那么冰凉　每个人　都有一段悲伤　想隐藏　却欲盖弥彰　白月光　照天涯的两端　在心上　却不在身旁　擦不干　你当时的泪光　路太长　追不回原谅　你是我　不能言说的伤　想遗忘　又忍不住回想　像流亡　一路跌跌撞撞　你的捆绑　无法释放　白月光　照天涯的两端　愈圆满　愈觉得孤单　擦不干　回忆里的泪光　路太长　怎么补偿　你是我　不能言说的伤　想遗忘　又忍不住回想　像流亡　一路跌跌撞撞　你的捆绑　无法释放　白月光　心里某个地方　那么亮　却那么冰凉　每个人　都有一段悲伤　想隐藏　愈在生长

yest went sam's hse play xbox n get sum notes from her... ya lo din managed to fetch 10 customers... dun believe canot get 10... will try again nx time.. haha... aftertat went home for dinner first den meet her again to go rivervale plaza to rent vcds den go compass.... ya den saw tat nice 'penguin necklace' sooooo nice... aftertat went home watch 1/2 yuan fen n qian nian zhi lian...
hmm den juz woke up.. cook sumting to eat den nth much le...

sadz

i suddenly found out tat sumone close to mi is juz making my life difficult.. haiz.. the person knows tat im upset bout it yet tat person is mentioning it again n again... juz wondering... is it cos tat person juz has such important position in my heart tat im feelin so upset over it or is it cos im being oversensitive... bt i juz wanna say, it realli hurts.. even till nw......
though i know tat tat person mite nt be sayin it out on purpose.. bt i dunno.. i sumhow feels tat tat person knows tat i'll be sad after hearin it bt i still found out....

am feelin rather pressurize these few days cos of a no. of issues.. will try to blog lesser......

a long day today.. went marine parade for flag day with ccs... i organised de wor.. lol bt onli 9 persons turned up n among the 9 i onli knew 2 haha.. bt nvm... yupz den go parkway the bridge there.. quite alot of ppl... n managed to fill up half the tin i tink.. ya n realised tat ppl r rather generous cos most ppl donated $1 coins.. n ya, tat dong bin still as funny as be4... dunno y, bt the way he toks juz reminds mi of renyuan.. lol...
at bout 5+ actually sms mi sis say mi at marine parade hungry tot she'll ask dad to come fetch mi cos they all at bedok... bt she actually din.... so sad.. n when i called, she said they were on the way home le... sobz... den i go out lo... go tampines shop... haha... tm alot of ppl wor.. quite long never go le... hmm... saw a kukumalu bag $14.90 veri nice.. likes the army green one n the pink one bt never buy... bought shorts instead... anyway, was shoppin in metro n was takin sum clothes to try when i suddenly felt so weak... as if i've lost all the resistance to fight... lost the motivation to move on... dun realli know hw to describe tat feeling... den i told myself im a fortunate person compared to many others... hmm... shop for quite long den go eat long john's den go home... reached home at bout 2210 n watch 'qian nian zhi lian'...

n ya forgot to mention tat i went century square de missha wanna find angelina from mxps bt she's nt ard... tink she worked till 7... hmmz... quite a crowd at missha there... cos the tings r quite cheap actually.. haha...

today woke up veri early... dad fetched mi n mum to katong de temple den we go eat breakfast... aftertat went bugis... shop ard n eat quite alot of tings... aftertat went home sam asked mi go her hse play xbox de.. bt in the end i fall asleep... lol.. so never go...
n ya.. my sis gt new phone a few days ago... nokia 6260.. haha veri fun.. keep using it to take self-portrait... yupz... everyting seems so normal.. hmm tink will b goin swimmin again tomolo morning if i can wake up lol...

heeding advices...

din go anywhere these few days... juz dunno wats happening actually... intend to go suntec today de... bt din go cos of sum reasons n so was staying at home, n suddenly feels as though crying without anybody knowing is so common? lol.. had a late nite last nite.. slept at ard 4 am though im on the bed since 1+.. nt tat i cant get to sleep... bt juz tat sumtimes, its always when im alone tat tings dun go the way i wished...

feels so sian nw.. hav decided to do sumting meaningful... bt sumhow juz feels wat i've said, wat i've done, may nt realli be wat im actuallly feeling...

hmm yest nite went loyang temple with mum n bro.. alot of ppl wor... tink its the onli temple in singapore with so many xiang ke ba... reali xiang huo ding sheng... reach home already past midnite le... online check mail awhile den go sleep le...

today woke up early cos meeting yy to collect the 'o' level chi notes cos mon helping tracy with her chi... ya meet him at 10 at serangoon there... hmm den come home first den go eat brunch with my mum... nth much to update le...

finish writing the letter to selina... a four-paged long one.. lol... haven been writing for so long le... sumtimes its realli a pleasure to be writing... bt den, it depends on wat u'r writin also... writing bout unhappy stuff isnt realli a pleasure though its nice to write out wateva feelings u hav, bt i'd rather nt hav anyting to write bout... tink i shd realli learn to 拿得起放得下。bt the prob is, i din take it up in the first place, n y shd i put down tings tat others took up? k im toking crap here... heeding advice....

nth much to update bout these few days cos was resting at home... sleepin most of the time lol cos of the medicine...
dunno y, these few days keep having lots of dreams... they say is cos dun sleep well tats y hav dreams... bt i dunno... sum of the dreams r nice, bt perhapz im tinking too much tat i dreamt of tings tat i hate to hear most.... tis feelin is realli terrible... r sick n cant go out, yet hav nth to do bt to hu si luan xiang n den dream of sumting u hate most... haiz..
btw, still owe selina a letter... haha its been so long since she sent mi...

juz changed blog skin yest... juz luv the quotes n the pic.. dunno wats wrong with the tag board... thx sam for ur concern.. am quite fine nw except for sum cough.. yupz den yest nite went compass pt with my mum.. shopped awhile den go library.. din shop much also cos was still nt feeling veri well.. ya so went home n rest...

hmm.. today woke up le read sum books den come online... was reading the archives of sam's blog... haiz... seems as though my probs hav caused her unhappiness too... sianz.. den go read my own blog's archive... all the unhappy memories in 2004 seems to hav caused a great change in everyting... be it our mindsets, our behaviours, our feelings, our actions.. it juz seems to hav created too much probs tat till nw they'r all still linked up.. can still remember the 2 days in sep... both days make mi hate the number 13... haiz...

bt as i've said be4 in angelfire, perhapz tis is sai weng shi ma, yan zhi fei fu... bt frankly speakin, i realli dun mind forsaking the 'fu' for wat i've 'shi'... well at least for nw, there's sumone who understands n agree with wat im doin nw... tat person said she'll do the same if he were in my position...

haven been bloggin for long time... finally made up my mind of goin tj... dunno wat to say nw... hav been sick since yest, mind is blank, slept almost for the whole day yest...

nw, though i've made up my mind of goin tj, im still afraid... afraid of the explanations part.... haiz.. y muz everyting be linked together? tink i shd try nt to tink bout it... though i know tat doin so is onli tao bi xian shi... perhaps im juz too worried bout tings tat doesn't requires mi to worry bout... ya bu yao wei mei you bi yao de fan nao er fan nao.. as in, even if i'm worried, tings wun change to any beta... maybe i shall juz give ppl stupid excuses...

had a discussion with my mum juz now, n asked for comments while online juz nw... tink most prob i'll be goin jc ba... haha sumone juz hav such great influence on mi ya? lol...

today wake up den go rivervale plaza help dad buy carpark season ticket... after tat go np ask bout the chi course lo... actually tot so far no one wans go with mi de... haha bt den gh called mi say she n angel no place go so go with mi.. haha ya den meet them at np there... den go for the course counselling thingy... quite alot ppl there... den we take the brochure from the CHS le den sit down at the sofa there tok crap lo... ya bt i still cant decide on goin there or nt leh... tat np guy say if i like chi shd go for the course la, cos will be beta than jc... bt den go poly veri difficult to go uni leh... aftertat pei angel go make singpass lo.. hafta wait so long... haha... ya wait for an hour plus ba den we walk to mrt lo... wanna go xr's hse de bt den nvr go haha cos gh wan go home eat.. so we go with her lo.. lol... den my bro come fetch mi from gh's hse... reach home le discuss with my parents lo... they say if i like chi den go ahead for the CHS lo...
bt i also dunno leh, cos gt sumone of great influence ask mi try go tj.... haha ya den i also afraid tat go poly le den cannot go uni onli left with a dip...
hmm den tomolo goin ecp cycle with angel gh n xr...