Monday, February 28, 2005

juz got back my results today... well i sort of expected tis l1r5 la, bt den quite disappointed for sum subs lo... anyway, tot i'll do worst de.. haha.. bt still quite sad la cos like alot ppl in our class n sch get single digit lo.. bt overall i still tink its nt bad la cos i realli expect sumting worst... ya den sumone asked for my results den said tat i could've done bettter... bt still alrite le... cos tat person knew wat happened ma... anywya, most ppl advice mi to go jc la... say tj nt bad ask mi give a try... lol... den gt sum funny ppl tell mi i shd tell nj tat i got go sch everyday when they called mi.. realli sehz lo.. lol...
long time never blog here le... maybe cos i dun like to blog here when im unhappy... haha... ya goin to take back results later.. ppl seems to be nervous bout it n my sis keep asking mi im worried or not, or i nd her to accompany mi to get results or nt.. lol.. bt i dun realli seem like feeling a ting bout it.. if there is, is juz tat i still haven decided on goin jc or poly... maybe cos i'v expected the worse, n sum experience gained by mi makes mi feel numb cos i dun tink the impact of bad results is worst than wat i've experienced... anyway, i knew tat i cant do well de cos... so no pt worrying... if results realli no gd den go poly lo.. haha

hmm den yest went xr's hse play mahjong with yx, angel, ng xin n shuyun... was watching 'Life Is Beautiful' while playign.. its such a nice show though i've watched many times le.. haha... if onlli life is realli so beautiful...... haiz bt it isnt...

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

today go watch 'i do i do' with gh n sam at ps... quite a funny show though i din realli like sharon au.. bt anyway, quite nice show la... ya den took neo prints with gh n sam also... ya den aftertat went bedok for dinner with family... my bro treating wor.. haha... yupz.. den eat le went bedok interchange shop lo... bt nth much also la, cos tat day juz went onli...

haiz.. dunno y like having a bad feeling bout tings these few days.. ya am trying nt to tink too much bout tings..... =(

Monday, February 21, 2005

tis afternoon went compass wanna buy the deuter bag, bt dun hav it there... so never buy... hmmz den shop ard lo.... bought sum food... cos nt in veri gd mood wanna splurge.. tats y wanna go buy the bag, bt so sad.... haiz... after tat went home hav dinner.... online awhile... den gh called n ask mi to meet at compass...

ya so asked my bro drive mi there lo... den saw gh she's so different.... she cried when she see mi... haiz.. dunno hw to console her also... ya den meet with yx n angel go yoshinoya talk lo.. realli hav no idea hw to console her... haiz... bt gh, cheer up kz?
yest:

woke up at 10+ den go my 3rd uncle's hse at sengkang... didn do much except gamblign.. lol... den we left at evening after dinner at bout 7... den my sis suggested goin bishan j8 so my bro n i meet her there... den shop ard there... the new extension like nth much de... lol... haha den yest got some 'pool challenge' over there n the winner will drive away with a car.. haha.. yupz... den went sports connection saw a deuter cross bike bag veri nice... haha maybe will buy... den went basement for some snacks...

today:

nth much cos juz woke up lol... read gh's blog yest... its ok gh, juz call mi whenever u wan, u dun hav to tell mi wat happen if u dun wish to... juz know tat i'll be there for u no matter wat happens... though hope tat there wun be a nx time for u to call mi while crying... haha...

欢庆佳节,何人不乐?
纵有万千感慨,
也唯有埋藏心底,独自怆然。

贵人相助,能否解围?
历经狂风骤雨,
持恍如隔世之感,他人无奈。

旁人误解,可曾澄清?
凡事皆有苦衷,
无奈却没法解释,何人晓得。

物质充斥,果真享受?
表面一如往常,
内心之悲痛欲绝,无奈自忍。

Friday, February 18, 2005

ya lo sam, maybe i tink too much of gambling le lo.. lol bt as i said, i feel tat gambling helps mi forget all the unhappy tings ma...

anyway, the nj clerk called mi today asking mi y i drop sch n hw many days did i attend sch... lol.. super inefficient lo them... its been almost 2 mths le nw den they call mi... haha so funny, cos when tat person first called, i was in toilet, so my dad pick up the phone... den tat person ask my dad if he knows tat i haven been attending sch... sehz.. den my mum was like telling my dad y he never tell the clerk he dunno n y they onli called now, like near to 2 mths since i drop sch? haha... ya den she ask mi y i dun wan go, i told her maybe i wanna go poly.... lol...

den today early afternoon went out with my bro to turf city, n was feeling so sick tat i almost fainted.. lucky i sat down in time wor... else my bro wun know wat to do le.. so sorry to make him n my parents worry... ya den sorry wor sam cant go watch i do i do with ya... i came home onli i sleep le... haha... tink nx week u c which day u free den we go watch lo...

hmm... yest my relatives came... den i help my mum prepare food since morning lo... yupz... den 4th aunt is the banker for ban luck... lol lucky i never play wor, cos she so lucky... tink she won bout $300+ lo.. all the players lost...

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

had a nightmare last nite.. dreamt tat im the banker for 'ban luck'--blackjack, n i lost $100 in one round.. n i woke up after it.. den woke up at 9+ cant sleep le... den went queenstown with parents to repair the vcd player.... aftertat went toa payoh shop n hav lunch....

went home aftertat..... blog.... den receive a call from gh... bt she never say anyting.... duno wat happened, hope she'll be alrite... aftertat went swim.... always like to swim when am feeling down... actually i dun wan go swim de cos wana wait for gh reply... bt den tis morning already decided to go swim at evening.. so go ahead... swimmed 8 laps, tired, my bro fetch mi....

came home, eat dinner... den lau yu sheng... ya den fold kim zua.... nw veri sian.......

Sunday, February 13, 2005

reached home after midnite juz now... den tok with my sis n parents till bout 3.. nw they went to sleep... suddenly feels tat tis yr de cny rather diff from previous years... haiz.... maybe its cos im avoiding? i'm avoiding cos i dunno hw to explain.. n i also dun wish to explain... bt haiz... tink its onli when everione is buzi gambling den will feel beta... duno y also... bt i tink its a fact tat it'll remain in my mind... perhapz time will fade it.. bt hw long will it take???? it's been so long.......

sianz.......

Saturday, February 12, 2005

long time never blog le.. cos cny ma.. haha... bt tis year de cny abit boring.. haha maybe cos less gambling? lol.. yupz... maybe ‘小赌怡情’refers to tis ba.. lol.. ya so yest went esplanade watch Total Women--这一夜WOMEN说相声.. actually its nt xiang sheng la... juz tat i also dunno hw to say.. lol.. veri funny lo.. first time listen to 3 ppl toking for 2+ hours also nt boring cos realli veri entertaining... though sum parts quite sian.. haha bt overall still nice show... yupz...
later goin 5th aunt's hse.. yeah.. she goin to open chap tee kee.. haha..

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

new year's eve!

veri tired nw... tis mornign my dad fetch mi to bedok for breakfast, den go marine parade there pass sumting to my aunt.. aftertat go PA take 'Chingay' tix for my sis.. dunno tat the gate thru PA from nicoll highway is close... kaoz.. den hav to walk all the way out den take another bus to kallang there... ya den take the tix, ask the person gt any other exit, she say gt one side gate to mountbatten rd... kaoz... if i know den dun nd to take another bus n walk the long way le... haiz...

ya aftertat went cchms... meet sam n ali at concourse.. yx n hz nt goin back, gh cant go back.. haiz... den go find teachers.. tink mani teachers left le... cant find Mrs Kee.. den tink Mr Wu never go today... ya so pass the chocolates to Mustika lo.. den the pineapple tarts, haha at first i also dunno who to give de... bt den since mrs kee nt here, den huang lao shi already gt one box of it on her table, i never give to her... den mdm tan.. eh.. dun realli like her, n dun tink she likes mi too.. so dun wan give her... lol.. so give mr pek lo.. lol.. den he give mi 2 oranges as hui2 jin4... like beri sian, cos like nt much teachers de.. actually ok la, cos i dun wanna c too much teachers also... hate to do explainations... 'u feel bad bout nt tellin them the truth, bt yet u dun feel like telling them the truth.' tats hw i feel exactly... haiz... aftertat go canteen chat with ali n sam while waiting for my dad to fetch.. ya, den go fetch my bro n sis lo...

since come home den making preparations for tonite's reunion dinner le... yupz... gng to eat at evening den go river angbao..
last nite went chinatown with parents... nt as crowded as expected... mum bought sum flowers n dad bought 2 'bi qiu', the person said tat it;ll help to shou cai... yupz... den walk ard, wanna buy a bracelet bt cant find any nice ones.. bought rings instead.. lol...

at the pasar malam there, when dad was looking at the bidding items, i sat down wiht my mum n i was in a daze... thinking, den my mum asked mi wat am i tinking... dunno wat to say, cos i also dunno wat was i thinking actually.. my thoughts juz wandered about.. haha.. asking of hw shd i explain, sumone told mi to try change topic... haha... stupid rite? lol anyway, goin out soon, den tonite hav reunion dinner! slurps... haha aftertat tink will go river angbao ba, as usual.. haha.. den tomolo morning will go temple first before go my 2nd uncle's hse..

it'll be fun... hope tat it'll be.. i dun wish to do explainations always...

Sunday, February 06, 2005

recalling.....

woke up bout an hour's ago... last nite help mum cut n cook the popiah fillings... every year onli help cut the ingredients, bt tis yr i help her cook also... den shun bian tou shi.. lol.. yupz.. den cook till 3am... cos we start cutting last nite 11+pm... ya den juz now woke up le eat.. so nice... tink my aunties gonna come n eat.. lol..

had sum dreams last nite.. veri sweet dreamz... bt regret nt reading tat letter in the dream... onli read the last half of it... bt its a realli nice feeling though cant realli recall wat the dream is about... felt much beta these 2 days, maybe cos i keep myself occupied with tings... n dun let my thoughts wandered about... bt sumhow, im still afraid... realli afraid tat tis year's cny will be diff from previous years... hope tat it wun... bt perhapz it'll be different in the way tat i've grown up through so much traumatic experience tat i had in the year of monkey? nw hoping tat the rooster yr will blessed mi with gd luck..

sumhow, tis seems like a chained reaction? everyting is sort of linked together... n tis will in turn affect my choices n my results...

Friday, February 04, 2005

yest veri busy never blog... went out early yest to orchard n bugis shop ard...

或许这就是所谓的“解铃还需系铃人”吧。但问题是,这铃,真的解了吗?在某些事件上,我们的观点是一致的。或者我该说,我们的许多想法都很相似。
这世界真的很奇妙,真是世事无绝对!让我悲痛欲绝的人是他,没想到现在想尽办法帮助我的却也是同一个人。

过几天就是春节了。除旧迎新,往年听到这句话,总只晓得表面意思-把旧的东西丢了再买新的。然而今年,我终于领悟这句话的真正含义。。。人生道路是坎坷的,也就是这些不如意的事让我们长大。

yest nite went marine parade n bedok buy nian huo.. every year i'll do so with my family n the feeling contains warmth, happiness n much more happiness... bt tis year de feeling seems so different.. i feel so lost.... ya,actually i shd be thankful n gladful tat i'm a able-bodied human who's still fortunate to hav a happy family... there's many tings tat i can do to help others... shd look forward, n nt keep looking back at the unhappy things... at least to mi, all these do help n they do make sense.. thx lots..

juz do watever u feel is good for u...

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

am thankful...

today went back cchms with sam... hmm.. woke up at 10 den go polyclinic c doctor cos i hurt my toe... haiz den hav to wait so long... ya aftertat meet sam at 2.20 at pasir ris mrt.... hmm... den quite fast wor, reach sch at bout 3 i tink... yupz den go find teachers......

wanna go find mrs kee first de, den meet yazeed along the stairs.. ya den he say lots of 'da dao li' lo.. or shall i say he's crapping? lol... yupz den go find mrs pereirra... ya she treated us to chocolates n sweets.. which she claim are leftovers.. haha... yupz den after tat we go find mrs kee lo.. bt so sad she went home le.. she say she gt sumting on... ya so too bad lo... another day den go visit her...

den wanna go find huang lao shi de, bt den use the intercom nobody ans... so tot she nt in... call her phone nt on... ya den sam meet her junior lo... den i go canteen see ccs de cny celebration.. they making 'jiao zi' so re nao in the canteen... realli proud of my juniors.. they made a great achievement n managed to get 17 sec 1 members!!! ya den can c tat all of them realli enjoy themselves alot tis afternoon... yupz den go his off... tink tok for quite long ba.... sorri to let sam wait so long... =p

aftertat went concourse find sam, along the way saw mdm tan walking towards canteen... told sam den we go find her..... ya den my juniors give mi eat some jiao zi.. n the xian liao of those i've eaten happens to be mixed by mr wu... so haha.. it tastes rather salty... bt still quite nice la... haha... yupz den they give mi the tic for the esplanade performance...

went off with sam to ecp then... wanna watch sunset de, bt when we reach there cant see the sun... so found a place to sit down n listen to the waves den go mac eat dinner... yupz force sam to eat de.. lol... after tat went home lo...

rather fun-filled day, bt if mrs kee was in sch, it wld hav been much beta... haha... den goin back on cny eve lo... btw, he agree with wat i've done n said tat he might hav done the same if he was in my shoes... haha n he says tat for most tings we cant hav the best of both, n tis kind of ting no choice, so juz do wat i tink i shd do.. lol


Tuesday, February 01, 2005

gng back to cchms tomolo... haiz.. these 2 days feeling so moody... maybe cos i tink too much le... bt... whenever i recall of tat day... it realli realli hurts...

bt im happy to say tat i've a family tat i luv veri veri much, n becos of tis, i nvr tell them my feelings cos i dun wanna worry them.... haiz... suan le, suan le....
wat shd i write? hav blogged alot today, bt nt here...
hope tat cny will bring away all the unhappiness of the past year.... bt can it realli?