went to tampines yesterday after tuition to get ingredients for cheese cake.. went home and mixed balacan chilli and also chicken rice chilli first before making the cheese cake... the balacan chilli is very spicy!! should've added some normal chilli instead of all chilli padi.. haha anyway it tastes nice... but the oreo cheese cake doesn't taste as nice... hmm guess its too little cheese...

went MOE for the appt briefing today with wanying... alot of people, but very few were there for BA/BSc course, more were mid-career ones... the briefing is longer than i expect so after that just went Eunos for brunch then go Comfort driving centre accompany her to book Basic theory test.. after that i had driving.. circuit was much better today haha hopefully i'll maintain like this or better till my TP... shifu was so funny today lol... i almost laughed my head off.. drove to pasir ris, and buy ingredients for yam paste and lady's finger.. just finished cooking, and everybody says nice! esp the yam paste, cos the lady's finger too spicy le..

went to watch Surf's Up with mama yesterday after driving.. circuit still not very good, sianz... drove to bedok then have dinner with parents at the mixed rice stall that we used to patronise when we were staying in bedok.. the food there is still so nice.. haha.. Surf's Up rather good, as in its a cartoon meant for children so as usual there's this moral behind the movie, which is to ask people to never give up... love penguins.. haha the 3 little ones are cute... im going to make cheese cake soon.. and also alot of other things i want to do like learning to cook more nice dishes..

tuition this morning for bryen, was helping him with his chinese then i realise that perhaps im still better at teaching chinese than other subjects... and yupz, i've made up my mind to go into nie to teach chinese.. though engineering is also my passion, but sometimes, we live not only for ourselves and there're also physical constraints... afterall, its still my own body.. moreover, i heard that engineering is one of the toughest course to study and its also not easy to be engineer esp civil engineer.. im not saying that being a teacher is easy, but just that there're different aspects to every job and it depends on which angle i look at it.. and its just like getting a phone.. for example a walkman phone is equally good as a cybershot phone, but it all depends on which one caters to your need more, music or camera? im trying to say that 我们选择某种事物，也许是因为它好，但也有可能是因为在相比之下，另一件事物较不适合自己。what i want is different from what i can do.. 我想要，并不代表是在我的能力范围之内。。。无论如何，都要感谢那些曾给予我宝贵意见的人。

anyway, had a bad dream last nite... hmm perhaps thats what people say 日有所思，夜有所梦。well, i guessed that should anything happen to me, my family are the ones who'r more sad and worried instead of myself...................

Saturday~tuition for Bronson in the morning, and am glad to see his chinese improving, really a great difference from the first lesson =). Went to The Mentor after that, tuition for Sherwin, he's getting better also... Then had lesson with the sec 4s, go through physics with them and i realise that i've forgotten about alot of stuff... went bugis to get the black casio watch for myself, same design as the one i got for gh... haha after that went to meet yy for dinner at marina square.. there's ndp preview going on, and the foodcourt is crowded cos can see from the outdoor seats.. then went to watch beijingren at esplanade which lasted for 3+ hrs! nearly missed the last train home lol.. i would say that the show was too draggy...
but its a happy day cos i finalllly got the letter from moe ^_^

Sunday~woke up at noon... ate lunch before going the mentor for tuition again cos sis went bintan so take over her sec 2 and 3 classes... i prefer the sec 3 class and it seems that im more close to them.. after that went hougang mall with nicholas for dinner and also get my digital camera at harvey norman! got the Olympus one though i planned to buy the fujifilm one..

Monday~along the way out to sgh received sms from ntu, informing me that my appeal has been successful.. hmm engineering and education, now have to make a choice between these 2, and both are someting i like.. i guess i will choose edu ba..

apart from this, seems that there are also other things that are not getting any better, and instead, is getting worse.. he increase pred frm 7mg to 25mg.. sadz.. wat a bad day...

Went tuition this morn, then meet angel and xr at parkway to go ecp cycling!! long time since i last cycled... fun but bit tiring, having some backache now haha.. aftertat wanted to go vivo de, but in the end never cos found a shop selling cheap branded shirts at roxy square and after buying already quite late le so din go vivo.. went back parkway to walk ard for awhile before goin home... Aftertat went for supper with parents, and ate carrot cake, sinful lo, but nice la haha..

Am tired.... still haven prepare for tmr's sec 4 tuition class yet.. sianz i wan to sleep.. but have to finish the phy qns first.. somemore have to wake up at 9am for tuition... hmm.. tmr going to watch 北京人at esplanade.. hopefully it'll be nice, but its 3 hour plus leh, hopefully wun fall asleep haha..

okies tink i better go and prepare my tuition stuff..

What more can I say?? Papa said the bah kut teh i cooked was nice, and even amazed that i din buy the packet thingy to cook!! Sis and mama also said it taste nice.. haah okies enough of praising myself.. but i really think it taste nice too lol.. so happppy~~

2nd attempt in circuit on tuesday not as bad, at least never mount curb.. so funny, shifu actually told tracy that the chicken rice i cooked was nice, as if he gt eat cos he described till got dragon got tiger(wu leng wu hor).. then bro asked me is it i gt let shifu try.. haha i laugh till pengz lo..
finally someting off my mind.. hmm sis went pull and bear sale today and got a few shirts.. simple and cheap lo.. never really went shopping though its GSS now, probably cos i alr got alot of stuff from china and taiwan haha..

now thinking of it, only 1 more month to my tp, but not much confidence in circuit leh.. nvm, practice makes perfect, i shall practice more, and i'll be able to overcome! ^_^ this entry like so random, dunno what am i typing also, muz be the after-effect of the choya+pearvodka lol..

after tuition on thurs went tampines gym then go tampines central walk walk and met andy..
was resting at home on friday, and choosing the rice for dumpling.. at night went for fathers day dinner in advance cos bro nd do duty today.. and sis said she's goin to treat us to holiday! maybe going malaysia, i wan go cameron highlands!! yeah cos she taking bonus in july, dunno how many months haha.. hmm if can go guangzhou/macau also not bad lol..

tuitions as usual on sat, then went cote d'azur take ba zhang from 5th aunt before going bedok with parents..

woke up early today to make ki zhang.. hehe hopefully it turns out nice.. today Fathers day, but papa still need to work =( haiz.. anyway, later will cook bah kut teh for family for dinner, will be nice de =)

today is guihao's bday also, Happy Birthday gal! maybe goin minds cafe or settlers cafe on tue/wed to celebrate..

and i cant log into my friendster again! sadz..

Thx Sam for your comments.. im not stressed up actually.. its just that i need time to accept some facts... haah i dun need meditation cos i tink its escaping from reality? haha we need to be realistic and accept facts.. i believe all i need is time.. Anyway, bon voyage and enjoy your Shanghai trip kz? hmm guess the weather over there now is summer so must drink more water and take care kz? haha..

Monday went Leisure World with mama, 4th aunt and 5th aunt.. hehe so happy won a little in jackpot.. but yesterday's driving first time go circuit very jialat, mount curb a few times =x hopefully next time will be better..

Had bbq at Cousin Beng's house at Fernvale yesterday after tuitionss.. hmm, everybody turned up except cousin sean.. quite alot of food, and even red wine sponsored by andy.. well they had a hard time trying to open the wine with the not-very-good wine opener..

Feel disturbed by all the mixed feelings running inside me..

thought i was a happy little gal, but things doesnt turn out that well.. i hope im just thinking too much... i din ask for much, did i?
was still happily celebrating my dad's bday yesterday, cooked chicken rice for parents, had dinner with family.. but suddenly right now, i am very sad and lost........

Treated Papa and Mama dinner at Bedok 511 hawker on Mon night.. ordered quite alot of food, like bah cho mee, cha kway tiao, wu xiang and satay.. After that went for tjc library camp with Sihui, Rafizah and Christine. Had bbq, which was rather quiet as the turn out is quite low.. Then played the night games with them, the 'treasure hunt' or 'night explorer' as they called it, and the candle game! Both games were tradition games passed down years after years.. It was real fun running around the school with them, searching for the strips of papers.. and the candle game was fun also, but not as fun as last year... Stayed over in the lib and met wanying after breakfast on tues to collect our SGC and A level cert.. Well, my cert didn't have any annotation that i took my papers under special arrangements, which is good as others will not know! But it doesn't really make any difference.. anyway, went to watched Shrek 3 with wanying afterthat at Princess.. it was a nice and funny show, though i fell asleep for a while during the show.. was just too tired as i only slept for 2 hours during the camp.. haha went for driving after that.. luckily after the short nap in cinema i don't feel that tired.. will be going into circuit the next lesson, which cost an additional $18, hopefully i'll have enough money until i collect my next tuition fee..

Woke up at 10 today to go punggol plaza and get ingredients for chicken rice! Reached home at around 11 and start cooking! Papa and mama say its nice! haha am so happy my first attempt for cooking chicken rice turns out rather ok.. Sis also said that its nice.. i would say that the chilli and chicken is rather up to standard, but the rice is not very nice, like not fragrant enough.. shall ask shifu for more pointers next time... next im going to try cooking bah kut teh, shifu also taught me how to cook, it sounds simple enough, hopefully it turns out nice.. It feels nice to be able to cook something for family, perhaps cos i love cooking.. haha but my mum also dun want me to go into her kitchen and always reject my help unless during chinese new year when too many people are coming..

Happy Birthday Papa! May you always be healthy and happy!

Kor treat us to dinner at Bedok today, then we went bedok interchange Sheng Shiong and bought some groceries.. its surprising that my mum will want to buy things there, cos she always say that the things there are not as good as ntuc's, although its cheaper..

Papa just went polyclinic for checkup yesterday.. and it seems that his condition is not getting any better.. hopefully he'll try to control his diet and dun eat so much salty and sweet food.. anyway, i guess alot of things in life is predestined.. how much we have, how long we'll live is all fated.. i used to believe in 人定胜天, but after so many things happened to me and my family during the past 3 years, i think its all fated.. though i know that there are still things that i need to work hard for, but sometimes, i think even if we work hard at something, we may not attain the results we deserve due to other uncontrollable reasons like falling sick at the wrong time.. just as shifu said, he could have won first prize of toto if not for his wife.. i mean, it is this kind of experience that let us know that which is actually more important to you.. family or money? health or results?

Hoping for the best... of cos i am not going to sink myself into depression just becos of what that had happened, but somehow i just will feel depressed, cos of certain remarks by people who doesn't know the actual situation.. i understant that 不知者无罪, but sometimes it hurts.. but i believe im coping well, and am learning to cope with it even better.. undesired things can also make us learn..

As usual had tuition from 0930 to 1600 on sat.. this will continue till the end of the year at least.. after tuition went out with nicholas and sherwin to Bras Basah, and i bought doraemon comics! Haven got any for a long long time.. went penisular for dinner before going raffles city.. took 80 with nic to sk interchange and walked home =) yupz and we promised to go tea chapter together someday! finally found someone who have the same interest with me and likes to go there.. ^_^

was supposed to meet sihui, raf and singwei for badminton at 8am at tampines on sun.. but i actually overslept till 8++.. so sad, wanted to play badminton de.. havent play for a long time.. met them for breakfast at Mac before going to sihui's house, wait for her to bath then we went downtown east for pool.. dunno why but just feel very tired.. perhaps cos i slept late at 3am the previous nite?

will be going back tj for lib camp later.. hope it'll be fun.. its raining heavily now, wonder how are they doing for the city hike.. hope it won't rain in the night as we'll be having bbq! will be staying over then meeting wanying tmr for movie--shrek 3?

papa's bday on weds, going to cook chicken rice for him, tmr shall ask shifu for some pointers.. he said he only need 10 mins to cook it! so pro lo hopefully it turns out nice..