Happy Boxing day to all!!!

went for CHC service on X'mas eve.. the drama production was nice.. haha.. spent the X'mas eve with him and countdown near my house de playground lol.. a wonderful evening.. ^_^

went Bishan with bro on X'mas day and get my sis's present.. at night have dinner with family at Bedok then pick sis up from zan's house.. hmm then we exchanged present and I got a nice brown New Balance jacket! so happy..

still wondering if I should take up the offer at TM... sianz...

Watched National Treasure on Fri at Suntec, it was a nice movie.. Had Suki buffet lunch before that, it was great! all the sashimi and food, slurps.. hehe shopped ard at marina square and suntec, got a few presents for gift exchange and bro's gift... Had dinner at Cartel.. the st louis pork rib had a really big portion luckily i din order lol..

Gift exchange with yuxuan, xinrou, guihao, peiwen, sam and angel on sat nite over dinner at Pastamania PS.. got a nice necklace frm Angel. haha nice lo.. nothing much just catch up with them and then head home le..

tuition at TM yesterday, it was eventful.. now I have to make a choice..
亲情，友情和爱情。。。应该如何做出决定而又不伤害到任何人呢?我珍惜我和他之间的友谊，希望能在他需要援助是伸出援手；但她是我姐，我不想和她产生任何利益冲突或伤害她；他是我深爱着的人，我不希望让他觉得我不尊重他。
无论我决定帮他或不帮他，都会有人受伤害。无论我的决定如何，我也会对他们其中一人感到愧疚。或许我当初应该选择置身之外，那就不会卷入ｎｉｃ和姐之间的“纷争”了。
此时此刻金钱已不在我的考量范围内了，如何才能将事情处理的妥当又不伤害到任何一方和那些学生们才是至关重要的。。。。。。唉！这么一个平安夜能安心地过吗？

bonus treat, cheesecake, driving

Went orchard with xr today, it was so crowded.. and so sad she actually lost her phone, now she's into phone-hunting together with wy... the nokia musicxpress is not too bad i'd consider it if i'm the one buying lol... shopped at taka, bought sylvanian family! haha a bathroom set...
Dinner with family at Tampines, my bonus treat for them.. then went Tampines Giant it was also very crowded, got something for Leo can treat as X'mas gift haha...

Ghim Han and his sis came over to bake cheese cake yest, and we made oreo cheese, strawberry cheese and chocolate cheesecake! its fun melting the chocolate, think i shall experiment with it again and then make some nice chocolates..

Watched Alvin the chipmunks at TM on Thurs, it was hilarious, a very nice show, suitable for family... lunch at Jack's place, tried the student meal, not too bad.. had volcano ramen at ajisen for dinner hehe had a wonderful day really enjoyed myself.. ^_^

Went Bugis with Doris on Tues, only managed to get a plain white dress but dunno when shall i wear it lol.. it was nice catching up with her... hmm then went Geylang for dian xin with family as dinner before goin to 5th aunt's house... had a long day but enjoyable..


Now that I got my P-plates, and tried driving my dad's Nissan lorry and my bro's Nissan pick-up, I still prefer shifu's Nissan Sunny!! though they're all manufactured from same company, but they're miles apart! sianz.. blame it on the high-rising petrol prices nowadays, else can share money to get a car with my bro..

Today is a happy day!! ^_^
Its worth my waking up early for. ^_^ Really have to thank my lucky star that bless me with a nice tester.

GESL is finally over! Haha am so happy the 2 days events went on rather smoothly, except for the amazing race yesterday due to the heavy rain that all of us were drenched.. the students from Hougang Sec are cooperative, and luckily the gals in my team are nice ppl to mix with, else will be very bored.. weather nowadays are really extreme, its so freezing cold yest and even now when I'm typing this.. think i'll wake up with a flu tmr haha alr sensed the sickness.. Well, but at least the 2 day events are finally over and done with, so will not have to bother about GESL stuff anymore!other than the reflections and stuff..

Went Hougang lib today and get some books. Haven been reading books, think I really need some spiritual lessons thru books.. looking forward to gatherings with long-time-no-see frens..

Different people tend to have different viewpoints and different perceptions. For myself, I beilieve in the co-existence of things but some people just have to believe that there is only 1 way out. I'm enjoying my life now, living every day every moment happily, cherishing each and every person around me. But there are still things that I still need to learn. Guess human life is such complicated. One will never be contented. Or rather one shall never be contented, and should always aim high and achieve more.

Went out to vivo on thur, shop around but din get anything.. in the end went back to punggol plaza watsons and got some facial stuff..was too tired to do any shopping lol.. spent the whole fri packing up my room and changed bedsheet.. my room is very clean and nice now, even put a small christmas tree..

went sentosa today, played beach volleyball and captain's ball for awhile before playing with water.. nice and enjoyable..

seems to have alot to blog of, but dunno what to start with.. hmm seems a long time since i last wrote in my diary.. am contemplating whether to go and write.. which doesn't really sounds like a good thing since i usually write in my diary when i've probs...

Went on Malaysia-JB trip with NIE coursemates on Tues, it was a fun trip! Went Plaza Pelangi for Ktv from 11am to 3pm with lunch included and it only costs RM16 which is like $7 haha.. after that went to play paintball at some ulu place, quite a nice experience at least its something new.. went to Danga Bay afterthat for dinner and do abit of shopping.. got myself a pink shirt and a perfume as a gift.. had dinner at secret recipe--grilled black pepper chicken.. bought 3 cakes back, choco banana, choco strawberry and yogurt cheese.. yogurt cheese is nice... had a walk along danga bay, the scenery was nice, with some resemblence to esplanade.. took a bus to city square afterthat and shop for awhile before heading back to sg.. a nice trip with great company..

Learnt how to cook sweet and sour pork yesterday and experimented it looks nice but alitte too sour haha will try it again.. went to St James powerhouse with sis, qinghe and john at night. rather crowed as it is ladies nite, stayed till closing at 4am den head home.. while driving back, at outram road (opp outram mrt station) we met with an accident. A taxi that turned out from SGH banged onto our side door. We were on the main road so we have the right of way. That taxi uncle didn't even checked before he's filtering out from the side road. luckily qinghe swerved to the right else it would have been more serious and i would not be able to blog now... luckily we are all alright..

exams are finally over le! well, the literature paper today aren't that easy, but not very difficult either.. had Gesl meeting after paper, was very sian.. actually, rather 'eventful' today, somethings are quite a disappointment, perhaps cos my expectations are rising.. haiz.. well, i should be glad that at least its not too bad..
asked for a few opinions here and there, well, thx for those who advised...

its a busy week ahead, with many activities lined up.. will be goin to jb tmr with my course mates, will update again! :)

Coming to think of it now, perhaps post-exams aren't that fantastic. There will be more matters that requires me to pay attention to and to decide.. Now I can use 'exams' as an excuse that i need to study need to concentrate etc. I have no such reasons after tmr. I wonder if I can handle it. For now I just know that it isn't something that can be solved overnight, it requires time, long long time. Avoidance is not the way out, i will and shall face it bravely, and see how it goes. I cant decide now, it takes time. Hopefully...

Well, after 2 months of MIA from my blog, I shall start blogging again.. Tomorrow is my last paper, weird indeed that i'm blogging when i still have a paper tmr.. but have alr gave up on studying.. the past week was meant to study for this last literature paper, and i did study, with intermittent breaks...

Now, I shall throw my notes aside and rest well. Haha. I shall start planning on my post-exam activities. Quite alot, at least enough to keep me busy for the next 2 weeks or so.

22 hours more, and i'll be free from the exams.

你站在桥上看风景，
看风景的人在楼上看你。

明月装饰了你的窗子，
你装饰了别人的梦。

--卞之琳《断章》

I find it interesting. It just seems that everything is connected to one another, and there exist a link between individuals, whether you realised it or not.

so long since i last blogged, have been so busy with presentations, CLEAR stuff and assignment... finally its recess week, but it seems that i'm still as busy... will be leaving for cameron highlands and genting highlands in 1 hours time... heard that its scenic there and the weather is nice, good place to relax, guess its just the right time for me to go today...

perhaps its just fated... the time will come, because i know it sure belongs to me... guess i've learned to let go... its all predestined... looking on the brighter side, i will have more learning chances...

Have been sick for the past week... headache, sore throat, cough, fever... sianz...

Its Teacher's Day last sat, and Bronson(my tutee) gave me present! I'm so happy, though its only a small gift, but it just reminds me of myself when I was in Primary school... Although times have changed, but there are somethings that will not change... By the way, Bronson scored very well for his Chinese CA2! Though its an easy paper, but he still did very well considering his standard... Even Sherwin got me a present, haha...

Watched Evan Almighty yesterday, it was very hilarious... though abit short, but it was a great movie!

Rehearsal for MOE workshop at NYJC today, guess everything is quite in place already.. Quite surprising, cos we didn't really do much planning, and we only know about it like 3 weeks ago... Tomorrow will be the real event, hopefully everything goes on well...

Though this is the e-learning week, it seems that i'm even more busy than a normal week, cos there are more assignments and more project meetings... I guess this is life, we have to keep up with the changes as we go along, and be prepared for the unexpected... i shall hold a positive mindset about everything, and live my life to the fullest!

Beginning to like my phone more and more.. haha it seems so special and im still exploring it so thhere'll be surprises each day...

went out to celebrate yx's birthday in advance yesterday after tuition. went marina square for jack's place then walked around.. and i bought an esprit shirt(its in grass-green!!) and a skirt... hmmz really enjoyed the girls' company...

had tuition today again cos sis is not free... had a headache since afternn, but still have to go tuition... think i give up on doing Moral Education assignment le, the chapters on it in the txbk is really boring and hard to understand...

going to rest le still have a long day tomorrow... 5hrs of lesson, meeting with grp, then meeting with prof, then driving followed by zhong yuan jie dinner...

Just got a new phone today! S500i, golden yellow... haha its so striking and lively... actually just want to go lib de, but ended up getting a new phone haha..

has been rather busy for the past week, cos of the CLEAR club... its actually a Chinese club... am wondering whats the point of joining only after 1 week lol.. luckily i have Chocolate to keep me company, else i guessed i would have quit..

watched Bourne Ultimatum last Sunday, not too bad I would say... this weekend is so packed :( tuition on both sat and sun sianz...

seems like i've beeen too busy to blog.. 2 weeks since sch starts and i guess life is very different.. haha okies anw i've got a stupid lecture from 1730-1830 later... sianz.. luckily my dad is going to send me there! haha later treat him dinner ba.. luv my dad!

today is national day's eve! perhaps because am not in school already, thats why didnt really have the National day atmosphere that i used to have when i was in pri to jc.. btw, lessons at nie officially started, and everything is rather ok except for the 国际音标lesson today which has a really boring teacher and the lesson seems to has got alot to do with bio haha since there are many diagrams of lungs and mouth and throat lol..

its national day tomorrow and i shall stay at home to keep my parents company cos has been out almost everyday since last week after orientation camp... will be cooking chilli crab for them i supposed...

Long long time didn't update already... well, orientation at NIE started and i had great fun at the 3 days 2 nights camp, it was an excellent camp!
watched The Simpsons Movie and Knocked Up this week, both were comedies that are really hilarious.. great company makes the show even nicer! ^_^

i guess im really a happy gal this time =D

it has been a busy week so far... cooked the chilli crab for sis and zan last fri, and they said its nice but alittle too spicy haha i already add alot of kechup for them.. anw, fry banana also but too bad i din eat much cos wasn't feeling well..
sat was just tuition then back home for dinner then headed to whitesands.. and i got 2 pairs of shoes there.. there was this racial harmony parade thingy in punggol on sun and my parents and i joined in the crowd for the performance and also the food carnival haha..

went tuition on mon, then meet lib ppl for pizza hut dinner at tampines mall, it was so crowded even on a weekday night.

went on a shopping spree with bro and sis at marina square yesterday night as there's John Little member's only preview sale.. haha got some shirts and also another pair of shoes... spent like $50+ haha but nvm since sis treated us to sakae for dinner..

went tuition then badminton with sihui and raf.. it was fun, long time never play alr, feels good to be exercising cos haven't been to gym for a long time.. after that had driving then went tuition again.. was so tired will be going to sleep soon...

hmmz will be busy all the way till next week.. sianz.. 20 july hopefully everything goes well! ^_^

Changed the blogskin yesterday.. bt am beginning to dislike it alr lol.. will be changing to the green one soon..

Hmm am free so did the friend test thingy.. haha ppl pls do it for fun k?
http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/719328

okies going to cook chilli crab for my sis and bf le..

Tuition on Sunday again cos sis went Genting... After that had dinner at Compass Point kfc with nic.. shop around awhile before going home.. Monday was a busy day, tuition, driving, sgh and vivocity... actually was tired le, but am happy so went vivo for dinner and view scenery lol..

everything seems alright and in control, but i don't feel quite right, am just so tired these few days.. have been sleeping alot..

Life is unpredictable, i once put this as my msn nick, and one fren commented that it's very cliche.. i know, but i think it is really true.. perhaps, not everybody can fully comprehend what it means... sometimes the future just seems to be so bleak.. whenever i thought of it, it just gets harder to keep going on........

Went Bedok with parents early in the morning yesterday for breakfast and then we went to buy crabs!!! took passport photos also.. went home soon afterthat cos weather very hot and we scraced the crabs will die lol.. reached home, prepare chilli and then kill the crabs then cook! Chilli crab haha first attempt quite nice, but the sauce abit too thick, shall try adding more water..
Went Hougang Mall with mama at night to develop Taiwan photos.. like finally after 1 mth + haha...

and today when i came home from tuition, saw 3 crabs crawling in the sink again..-.- dad say the chilli crab i cooked ytd taste nice so buy somemore haha.. okies so we have chilli crab for dinner today again... too bad sis in malaysia, cos she also loves chilli crab haha next time then cook for her..

hmm, will be rather busy in the coming week, and then looking forward to the week after next, provided everything goes well on Monday...

Went through a Chinese close passage(综合填空),its about a lady who has got some terminal disease since she's born, which affects her speech and hearing, attrating lots of unwanted attention from others. However, she did not give up and instead, she strived hard and eventually she became a well-known professor. She mentioned in the passage:"我只看到自己所拥有的，不看自己所没有的"。常人总是缺乏这种心态，总是身在福中不知福，为了一点儿微不足道的事情怨天尤人。或许，我曾经也是这样。但经过这么多的磨练，和看过这么多面目可憎，说话完全不经大脑，不顾及他人感受的人之后，我想我不再这样。也许我的一生（在和别人相比之下）会缺少一些东西，但是和较不幸的人比起来，我是幸福的，快乐的！偶尔，我也希望自己和平常人一样……

You scored as Physics/Engineering/Computer, You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Engineering, or Physics, or related majors (e.g., Architecture, Astronomy, Astrophysics, Biochemistry, Chemical Engineering, Chemistry, Civil Engineering, Computer Engineering, Computer/Management Information Systems (CIS/MIS), Computer Science, Electrical Engineering, Genetics, Environmental Science, Industrial Engineering, Mathematics, Mechanical Engineering). It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal. Physics/Engineering/Computer 88% Education/Counseling 81% English/Journalism/Comm 75% HR/BusinessManagement 63% History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 63% Mathematics/Statistics 63% French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 63% Biology/Chemistry/Geology 56% Accounting/Finance/Marketing 50% Psychology/Sociology 44% Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 44% PoliticalScience/Philosophy 38% Religion/Theology 25% Visual&PerformingArts 19% WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

Well, this is rather true.. Engineering.. Education.. but i dun understand the third one. haha i'll never ever go into media/communications...

Tuition on sat and then went parkway parade.. and its so funny, cos Nicholas and Sherwin started walking towards PP before I started my tuition at 2pm, and after I finished my tuition at 4pm and took a bus to PP, we reached at the same time.. LOL.. walked around and because its the last day before the GST hike, there was crowd everywhere.. Got an Esprit shirt, and Nic got 2 t-shirts.. took 43 back to punggol interchange and walked home after having a very filling dinner at Pastamania..

Celebrated Sam's birthday on Sunday. Invited her, guihao and xinrou over to my house for lunch and mahjong + dvd(just follow law).. Dad bought durians! Went compass point sakae sushi for dinner after that and yuxuan joined us. after that my sis also went compass with her fren and they're having dinner at Wasabi.. Jap food again, and i also ate a little.. haha..

Went for driving this morning, everything quite ok, and the ususally short 1-hour circuit seems to take a long time today.. anw learnt more recipes from shifu lol. after that he fetched me to cisco cos i need go for the photoshoot, but then i realised that they doesn't operate during lunch so i can only go at 2.30... sianz so walked under the scorching sun to Singpost for lunch then walked back to cisco.. meet Sam and wanying.. went bugis with them after photoshoot. abit tired so din really buy anything..

Mummy said that this morning they went to NHC and saw Miss Wong, my sis's pri sch teacher, and i knew her also.. hmm though she doesn't teach me, but she's my cca(eca then) teacher .. and she said that its good to be a chi teacher.. hahaha..

went to tampines yesterday after tuition to get ingredients for cheese cake.. went home and mixed balacan chilli and also chicken rice chilli first before making the cheese cake... the balacan chilli is very spicy!! should've added some normal chilli instead of all chilli padi.. haha anyway it tastes nice... but the oreo cheese cake doesn't taste as nice... hmm guess its too little cheese...

went MOE for the appt briefing today with wanying... alot of people, but very few were there for BA/BSc course, more were mid-career ones... the briefing is longer than i expect so after that just went Eunos for brunch then go Comfort driving centre accompany her to book Basic theory test.. after that i had driving.. circuit was much better today haha hopefully i'll maintain like this or better till my TP... shifu was so funny today lol... i almost laughed my head off.. drove to pasir ris, and buy ingredients for yam paste and lady's finger.. just finished cooking, and everybody says nice! esp the yam paste, cos the lady's finger too spicy le..

went to watch Surf's Up with mama yesterday after driving.. circuit still not very good, sianz... drove to bedok then have dinner with parents at the mixed rice stall that we used to patronise when we were staying in bedok.. the food there is still so nice.. haha.. Surf's Up rather good, as in its a cartoon meant for children so as usual there's this moral behind the movie, which is to ask people to never give up... love penguins.. haha the 3 little ones are cute... im going to make cheese cake soon.. and also alot of other things i want to do like learning to cook more nice dishes..

tuition this morning for bryen, was helping him with his chinese then i realise that perhaps im still better at teaching chinese than other subjects... and yupz, i've made up my mind to go into nie to teach chinese.. though engineering is also my passion, but sometimes, we live not only for ourselves and there're also physical constraints... afterall, its still my own body.. moreover, i heard that engineering is one of the toughest course to study and its also not easy to be engineer esp civil engineer.. im not saying that being a teacher is easy, but just that there're different aspects to every job and it depends on which angle i look at it.. and its just like getting a phone.. for example a walkman phone is equally good as a cybershot phone, but it all depends on which one caters to your need more, music or camera? im trying to say that 我们选择某种事物，也许是因为它好，但也有可能是因为在相比之下，另一件事物较不适合自己。what i want is different from what i can do.. 我想要，并不代表是在我的能力范围之内。。。无论如何，都要感谢那些曾给予我宝贵意见的人。

anyway, had a bad dream last nite... hmm perhaps thats what people say 日有所思，夜有所梦。well, i guessed that should anything happen to me, my family are the ones who'r more sad and worried instead of myself...................

Saturday~tuition for Bronson in the morning, and am glad to see his chinese improving, really a great difference from the first lesson =). Went to The Mentor after that, tuition for Sherwin, he's getting better also... Then had lesson with the sec 4s, go through physics with them and i realise that i've forgotten about alot of stuff... went bugis to get the black casio watch for myself, same design as the one i got for gh... haha after that went to meet yy for dinner at marina square.. there's ndp preview going on, and the foodcourt is crowded cos can see from the outdoor seats.. then went to watch beijingren at esplanade which lasted for 3+ hrs! nearly missed the last train home lol.. i would say that the show was too draggy...
but its a happy day cos i finalllly got the letter from moe ^_^

Sunday~woke up at noon... ate lunch before going the mentor for tuition again cos sis went bintan so take over her sec 2 and 3 classes... i prefer the sec 3 class and it seems that im more close to them.. after that went hougang mall with nicholas for dinner and also get my digital camera at harvey norman! got the Olympus one though i planned to buy the fujifilm one..

Monday~along the way out to sgh received sms from ntu, informing me that my appeal has been successful.. hmm engineering and education, now have to make a choice between these 2, and both are someting i like.. i guess i will choose edu ba..

apart from this, seems that there are also other things that are not getting any better, and instead, is getting worse.. he increase pred frm 7mg to 25mg.. sadz.. wat a bad day...

Went tuition this morn, then meet angel and xr at parkway to go ecp cycling!! long time since i last cycled... fun but bit tiring, having some backache now haha.. aftertat wanted to go vivo de, but in the end never cos found a shop selling cheap branded shirts at roxy square and after buying already quite late le so din go vivo.. went back parkway to walk ard for awhile before goin home... Aftertat went for supper with parents, and ate carrot cake, sinful lo, but nice la haha..

Am tired.... still haven prepare for tmr's sec 4 tuition class yet.. sianz i wan to sleep.. but have to finish the phy qns first.. somemore have to wake up at 9am for tuition... hmm.. tmr going to watch 北京人at esplanade.. hopefully it'll be nice, but its 3 hour plus leh, hopefully wun fall asleep haha..

okies tink i better go and prepare my tuition stuff..

What more can I say?? Papa said the bah kut teh i cooked was nice, and even amazed that i din buy the packet thingy to cook!! Sis and mama also said it taste nice.. haah okies enough of praising myself.. but i really think it taste nice too lol.. so happppy~~

2nd attempt in circuit on tuesday not as bad, at least never mount curb.. so funny, shifu actually told tracy that the chicken rice i cooked was nice, as if he gt eat cos he described till got dragon got tiger(wu leng wu hor).. then bro asked me is it i gt let shifu try.. haha i laugh till pengz lo..
finally someting off my mind.. hmm sis went pull and bear sale today and got a few shirts.. simple and cheap lo.. never really went shopping though its GSS now, probably cos i alr got alot of stuff from china and taiwan haha..

now thinking of it, only 1 more month to my tp, but not much confidence in circuit leh.. nvm, practice makes perfect, i shall practice more, and i'll be able to overcome! ^_^ this entry like so random, dunno what am i typing also, muz be the after-effect of the choya+pearvodka lol..

after tuition on thurs went tampines gym then go tampines central walk walk and met andy..
was resting at home on friday, and choosing the rice for dumpling.. at night went for fathers day dinner in advance cos bro nd do duty today.. and sis said she's goin to treat us to holiday! maybe going malaysia, i wan go cameron highlands!! yeah cos she taking bonus in july, dunno how many months haha.. hmm if can go guangzhou/macau also not bad lol..

tuitions as usual on sat, then went cote d'azur take ba zhang from 5th aunt before going bedok with parents..

woke up early today to make ki zhang.. hehe hopefully it turns out nice.. today Fathers day, but papa still need to work =( haiz.. anyway, later will cook bah kut teh for family for dinner, will be nice de =)

today is guihao's bday also, Happy Birthday gal! maybe goin minds cafe or settlers cafe on tue/wed to celebrate..

and i cant log into my friendster again! sadz..

Thx Sam for your comments.. im not stressed up actually.. its just that i need time to accept some facts... haah i dun need meditation cos i tink its escaping from reality? haha we need to be realistic and accept facts.. i believe all i need is time.. Anyway, bon voyage and enjoy your Shanghai trip kz? hmm guess the weather over there now is summer so must drink more water and take care kz? haha..

Monday went Leisure World with mama, 4th aunt and 5th aunt.. hehe so happy won a little in jackpot.. but yesterday's driving first time go circuit very jialat, mount curb a few times =x hopefully next time will be better..

Had bbq at Cousin Beng's house at Fernvale yesterday after tuitionss.. hmm, everybody turned up except cousin sean.. quite alot of food, and even red wine sponsored by andy.. well they had a hard time trying to open the wine with the not-very-good wine opener..

Feel disturbed by all the mixed feelings running inside me..

thought i was a happy little gal, but things doesnt turn out that well.. i hope im just thinking too much... i din ask for much, did i?
was still happily celebrating my dad's bday yesterday, cooked chicken rice for parents, had dinner with family.. but suddenly right now, i am very sad and lost........

Treated Papa and Mama dinner at Bedok 511 hawker on Mon night.. ordered quite alot of food, like bah cho mee, cha kway tiao, wu xiang and satay.. After that went for tjc library camp with Sihui, Rafizah and Christine. Had bbq, which was rather quiet as the turn out is quite low.. Then played the night games with them, the 'treasure hunt' or 'night explorer' as they called it, and the candle game! Both games were tradition games passed down years after years.. It was real fun running around the school with them, searching for the strips of papers.. and the candle game was fun also, but not as fun as last year... Stayed over in the lib and met wanying after breakfast on tues to collect our SGC and A level cert.. Well, my cert didn't have any annotation that i took my papers under special arrangements, which is good as others will not know! But it doesn't really make any difference.. anyway, went to watched Shrek 3 with wanying afterthat at Princess.. it was a nice and funny show, though i fell asleep for a while during the show.. was just too tired as i only slept for 2 hours during the camp.. haha went for driving after that.. luckily after the short nap in cinema i don't feel that tired.. will be going into circuit the next lesson, which cost an additional $18, hopefully i'll have enough money until i collect my next tuition fee..

Woke up at 10 today to go punggol plaza and get ingredients for chicken rice! Reached home at around 11 and start cooking! Papa and mama say its nice! haha am so happy my first attempt for cooking chicken rice turns out rather ok.. Sis also said that its nice.. i would say that the chilli and chicken is rather up to standard, but the rice is not very nice, like not fragrant enough.. shall ask shifu for more pointers next time... next im going to try cooking bah kut teh, shifu also taught me how to cook, it sounds simple enough, hopefully it turns out nice.. It feels nice to be able to cook something for family, perhaps cos i love cooking.. haha but my mum also dun want me to go into her kitchen and always reject my help unless during chinese new year when too many people are coming..

Happy Birthday Papa! May you always be healthy and happy!

Kor treat us to dinner at Bedok today, then we went bedok interchange Sheng Shiong and bought some groceries.. its surprising that my mum will want to buy things there, cos she always say that the things there are not as good as ntuc's, although its cheaper..

Papa just went polyclinic for checkup yesterday.. and it seems that his condition is not getting any better.. hopefully he'll try to control his diet and dun eat so much salty and sweet food.. anyway, i guess alot of things in life is predestined.. how much we have, how long we'll live is all fated.. i used to believe in 人定胜天, but after so many things happened to me and my family during the past 3 years, i think its all fated.. though i know that there are still things that i need to work hard for, but sometimes, i think even if we work hard at something, we may not attain the results we deserve due to other uncontrollable reasons like falling sick at the wrong time.. just as shifu said, he could have won first prize of toto if not for his wife.. i mean, it is this kind of experience that let us know that which is actually more important to you.. family or money? health or results?

Hoping for the best... of cos i am not going to sink myself into depression just becos of what that had happened, but somehow i just will feel depressed, cos of certain remarks by people who doesn't know the actual situation.. i understant that 不知者无罪, but sometimes it hurts.. but i believe im coping well, and am learning to cope with it even better.. undesired things can also make us learn..

As usual had tuition from 0930 to 1600 on sat.. this will continue till the end of the year at least.. after tuition went out with nicholas and sherwin to Bras Basah, and i bought doraemon comics! Haven got any for a long long time.. went penisular for dinner before going raffles city.. took 80 with nic to sk interchange and walked home =) yupz and we promised to go tea chapter together someday! finally found someone who have the same interest with me and likes to go there.. ^_^

was supposed to meet sihui, raf and singwei for badminton at 8am at tampines on sun.. but i actually overslept till 8++.. so sad, wanted to play badminton de.. havent play for a long time.. met them for breakfast at Mac before going to sihui's house, wait for her to bath then we went downtown east for pool.. dunno why but just feel very tired.. perhaps cos i slept late at 3am the previous nite?

will be going back tj for lib camp later.. hope it'll be fun.. its raining heavily now, wonder how are they doing for the city hike.. hope it won't rain in the night as we'll be having bbq! will be staying over then meeting wanying tmr for movie--shrek 3?

papa's bday on weds, going to cook chicken rice for him, tmr shall ask shifu for some pointers.. he said he only need 10 mins to cook it! so pro lo hopefully it turns out nice..

Happy Vesak Day!!!

Had a wonderful holiday eve with Nicholas, Boz and Shanrong yesterday... went kbox with them and we sang from 10pm till they close at 3am! haha we were supposed to leave at 1am but since nobody came to "disturb" us, we just kept singing! was really fun and enjoyable.. Sometimes, little things in life make us realise something so significant that will change our life =)

went Race Course road temple with parents and kor juz now then go ang mo kio for lunch..

解曰：勃然而兴，求财成就，官司胜利，病人能愈，诸事得贵人相助。

Had driving yesterday also, seems that my steering still not very good haha.. wonder if they are just consoling me, but it feels great to hear from people whom i respect and trust that everything will be alright.. anyway im feeling happy and contented now, cos i know i have great family and great frens around me..

"In life, what sometimes appears to be the end, is actually a new beginning."

When we look at the same thing at different perspective, things will be very different. I shall say I'm a mind over heart person, so I tend to think more logically than emotionally, sometimes too logical that people say I'm looking too much into things. Perhaps its true, sometimes I really think too deeply and look too much into things. I'm also skeptical about things in life. But I'm trying to learn to look at things at different angles, and not complicate simple things, and not doubting people's intention. 防人之心不可无，但我不想当刺猬，我也相信我不是。Its just that sometimes, I will not say out my most inner feelings. Though sometimes I do, but it depends on the other party, I choose people to relate to regarding different issues. However, there are people whom I'll never disclose confidential information to. Its not that I don't trust them, but just that sometimes I find it hard to.

Well, haven't write this kind of entry for a long time, I must be too free today lol.

Am glad that there's always people there for me when I needed most.. Nick was with me ytd, when i felt sad and lost.. he cheered me up, makes me forget the unhappiness temporarily, and gave me lots of encouragement which reminded me of that person of great influence.. Am thankful and grateful that i have a great family and great frens around me... Hopefully, as Nick said, things aren't as bad as I thought..

No matter what happens, I shall live life to the fullest, even though its natural to feel dejected initially.. Have thought of all other possibilities, and they doesn't seem that bad.. 正所谓条条大路通罗马，人生到处都是机遇，只要我们不气馁，就一定能走向康庄大道！

Okies ppl im back frm Taiwan!!!
was rather fun, but i still prefer beijing, cos taipei is all bout shopping... got alot of food stuffs back.. went to alot of night markets, climbed yangming mountain with yuxuan, 国父纪念馆, 袖珍博物院, Mirammar ferries wheel, 故宫博物院, 士林官邸, 国立台湾民主纪念馆（前中正纪念堂），孔庙，龙山寺，淡水老街，乌来温泉，台北101。seems like we went alot of places.. haha our hotel was located at a good location which was very near to taipei 101.. thought the food there will be very nice, but perhaps its becos my expectations are too high, or becos we are not used to their way of eating, it seems that the food there ain as nice as expected...

due to the lack of sleep during the trip, i slept from 1130 last nite to 3.30pm today haha.. received a call frm moe, thought it will be good news, bt it seems that they still need to discuss cos of my condition.. but this also means that i passed the interview! haha so if i din get into the course, i know what's the reason.. alot of gatherings in the upcoming weeks.. cousins' gathering this sun, the other side's relatives' bbq 2 weeks later..

Random Network Check Instructions: Name 20 ppl u can think of at the top of your head.Dun read the below questions before you write and tag 5 ppl to do this survey.
1.Guihao
2.Xinrou
3.Samartha
4.Yuxuan
5.Angel
6.Wanying
7.Shixiong
8.Nicholas
9.Biying
10.Yangyang
11.Susan
12.Lihao
13.Zan
14.Doris
15.Yishan
16.Sihui
17.Shurong
18.Shifu
19.Kenneth
20.Ghimhan

How did you meet 14? (Doris)
She asked me for the time while waiting for our parents in concourse in sec 1...and we became classmates and good frens in sec 3 & 4..

What would you do if you never met 1? (Guihao)
Life will be different, she's a fren who's always there for me when i need..

What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? (Ghimhan and biying)
Haha they didn't know each other.. but maybe they're compatible cos one is quiet and the other is more talkative lol.

Did you ever like 19? (Kenneth)
Eh like as a fren ba, esp when he helps us to repair out pc.. haha

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? (wanying and shurong)
haha they;re both gals..

Describe 3. (Samartha)
frenly and warm gal but tends to worry too much? lol.

Do you think 18 is attractive? (Shifu)
hahah he's old enuff to be my dad.. mayb when he's young? he is good at words.. lol

Tell me something about 7. (Shixiong)
A person full of crap, but is entertaining too! haha

Do you know any of 12's family? (Lihao)
Nope.. only knows that he has sisters.. haha

What's 8's favourite? (Nicholas)
Guns and roses.. interacting with kids...

What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you? (Susan)
Hahaha.. both of us are gals, and she's already married with 2 kids!

What language does 15 speak? (Yishan)
Hmmm.. English, Chinese, Teochew

Who is 9 going out with? (Biying)
Nt very sure but think currently nobody ba..

How old is 16 now? (Sihui)
Same age as me..

When was the last time you talked to 13? (Zan)
At the airport which is 1 week ago..

Who's 2 favourite band/singer? (Xinrou)
eh..not very sure leh think she listens to all types of music?

Would you date 4? (Yuxuan)
Date her for shopping and museum trips!lol

Would you date 7? (Shixiong)
Hahah.. good question i dunno how to answer..

Is 15 single? (Yishan)
Think so ba.. haha

What's 10's last name? (Yang Yang)
Yang..

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 20? (Ghimhan)
haha.. most prob no ba.. but life is unpredictable...

What school does 3 go to? (Samarha)
Holy Innocents, Chung Cheng Main, Temasek JC...

Where does 6 live? (Wanying)
Tampines...

Whats your favourite thing about 5? (Angel)
She's pretty! haha n she's fun to be with..

Going off to Taiwan soon!!! Looking forward to hot spring!!

On the other hand, am sad cos I almost strike 4d... As in, the number I wanted to buy came out but I never buy!! Sadz.. Normally I'll buy de lo... Must be too tired liaoz after eating the medicine for giddiness.. Haiz, maybe its not meant to be mine... Anyway, am hoping that everything goes well for the trip and for everyone...

Another note, heard frm shi xiong that shifu said I pro liaoz haha.. Am so happy to hear that, but think I'm still abit slow... Think this kind of thing is 熟能生巧.. Hopefully will be able to improve on my weaknesses..

14 more hours to flying!

Our friendship will last, i thought..
only till recently, i realise..

Everything is unpredictable..
everyone changes..

Repeating history..
roughly similar..

In my memory, all remains..
in fact, i miss those days..

Many things are unchanged..
maybe not all..

I don't know..
in any case, just wish to see him again..

Sometimes, its not within our control..
so let's just leave it to fate..

Since then, i am lost..
so lost in a sea of uncertainties..

Usually not so..
used to love uncertainty, but not now..

Happy Mother's Day! Had mother's day celebration yesterday already...

Tuition at The Mentor was fun and interesting yesterday... took 24 to bedok after that... got another hair clip and flower on top of the glass pendant i bought for mum... walked to hiang suar restaurant, and had a sumptuous dinner.. as usual, family wants to go bedok interchange after dinner... so went for awhile, before going to east coast park -- bedok jetty! long time since i last been there, think around 4 months.. nice feeling, esp with family, recalled how we always went there everyweek when i was young... dad will go fishing, mum will be preparing food, me and siblings will be playing at the beach... the good old days...

nothing much happened this week... except that this week is my students' exams, and luckily its all over now.. driving more smoothly, but still abit slow at reacting to sudden circumstances, think just need more experience..

went for moe interview today.. guessed i was clear enough for them to know that im more interested to teach in chinese, cos in the 2nd half of the interview one of the interviewer actually interviewed me in chinese.. quite interesting actually, but some of my answers are rather silly.. anyway, met up with yx they all at bugis as she wanted to buy tankini.. but in the end, she din get any but get some shirts instead...

looking forward to tuitions tmr, 1st lesson for sherwin and also 1st lesson for the sec 4 class at nick's place.. afterthat will be mother's day celebration!!

yeah, taiwan in 6 days time!!! ^_^

Am beginning to enjoy teaching Bronson.. he's the most obedient one among all my students, though his chinese is really below average.. but that makes it even more challenging.. haha and am glad that he finds chinese easier now ^_^

Well.. was packing some stuff in the room when i saw some cchms stuff like my chinese cultural society stuff, chinese notes, jian bao from lower sec... these trivial things actually made me rekindle my interest/passion for chinese... 2 years in jc, though studying lep, somehow made me lose that passion that i used to have when i was in cchms.. maybe its the environment or the teachers or the syllabus... it just seems that tjc is not a very good place to cultivate one's interest in chinese.. or perhaps its just my own mindset... right now, i found back the old me when i was in cchms, the passion in chinese that was once found in me -- its back! haha it sounds weird, but i want to thank all my chinese teachers in cchms, my ccs teacher, and also the person of great influence... some words they said might seem normal to us then, but thinking of it now, they are of great significance which perhaps, will make a great impact in our lives...

thx sam n xr for your comments n sms.. actually the first and second part of my last post are on different issues... hmm nth much to update actually... tuition... driving... planning overseas trips... exchanging magnets... doing things that i enjoy...
人生很脆弱。。。这句话不知听过几十遍了， 但在某种情况下，听起来却感触良多。。。
反复斟酌，却总得不到结论。应该说，世界上的事并非我们想怎样就怎样的，实在有太多太多的顾虑。。。

Willingness to give in does not necessary mean that everything will turn out fine...
Speaking the truth sometimes will hurt others or cause unnecessary problems...
Making a promise gives rise to a chance of not fulfilling it...

having mixed feelings of receiving the interview letter from MOE... does that mean that i wun be getting into my first few choices?

Saddening... Its true that people do change... Its really hard for Mr A who knows Ms B for 6/7 years to know that she had changed so much within the past 10 months.. For me who knows Ms B for a much longer time, its even more unbelievable.. Just within the 30-min wait for my dad at the bustop, so many things actually happened.. No wonder people say that technology can be a killing tool... Although the aftermath of this incident might benefit me somehow, but I really don't wish to see Mr A and Ms B's relationship being strained...

Hopefully its just that I'm thinking too much...

Friday went alot of places.. Go 5th aunt place to return luggage first, then bro sent me and mum to ICA to update my passport photo, cos the immigration officers always stared at me and my passport photo which was taken in 2001 when my hair is very short, so I better go and change else next time they don't allow me to depart.. lol.. after that went bugis to get xr's present, which I also like it, so asked wy to help me get one also.. then went sgh for blood test before going home.. I tried cooking mushroom soup with minced pork and it tastes quite ok except that its not very sweet.. next time shall try adding fish to taste.. bear came and do some maintainence on our pc.. long time since he came our house, and its abit weird, cos his relationship with my sis now is rather complicated..

tuition for Bronson on sat morn and today morn as his oral is on weds.. hopefully he'll be able to pass.. went suki buffet dinner with guihao, yuxuan, peiwen and of cos the bday gal-xinrou(in advance).. ate quite alot of food esp those sashimi so should be quite worth the price lol.. walked with yx to her house then took bus home.. walking can be quite fun, but only at night and not under the hot sun.. haha..


Will people ever be contented? Perhaps its difficult for one to be contented, be it becos of the temptations in life or human nature of being greedy.. one always has alot of wants and desires and when these are achieved, there'll be more to come.. Perhaps we can see them as motivations to keep us going....

Am back!! Not used to the hot weather... haha..
wanted to upload photos, but realised that we took more than 1000 photos lol so will only post a few that i like most..


taken on the great wall! really magnificent, and also 感触良多upon thinking that so many lives are lost just to build this great wonder..



this last two pics are taken at 避暑山庄at承德 which is the place that i liked most.. it has a very large lake, and also it is very cold as it just very near to 内蒙古...









realli enjoyed the trip, and bought quite alot of stuff.. we had a total of 15 pieces of luggage(both checked-in and hand-carry) on our way back.. haha.. however the first 2 days are rather upsetting as we met some 毫无良心的奸商试图欺诈... Cant blame the tour guide though, its part of their job also.. but ppl, just be careful if you're planning to go on a private guided tour... dun ever buy anything that the guide bring you too, chances are the prices are very high and the tour guide is getting commission from from what you bought..
luckily these incidents did not spoil our mood for the trip and we enjoyed ourselves through the remaining days...

Am in Beijing now!!! My sis brought her laptop & our hotel actually got free broadband!!
went to alot of places in the past few days, like forbidden city, tian an men, great wall, summer palace, bi shu shan zhuang in Chengde and juz came back from tianjin today... the hotel in beijing not very good as compared to the one in chengde.. but not bad though.. haha the nx few days will be free & easy... will be goin to tian tan and zoo!!
the weather here is very nice ard 13 degrees in the day, though its sunny but its very cooling... ppl in chengde is very very frenly as compared to ppl in beijing.. haha..
took alot of photos... will upload when i got home.. ^_^

清明时节雨纷纷, but today's weather is rather hot.. maybe it'll rain later in the day...
when i was young, i always feel uneasy about my birthday falling on 清明节, but now im glad that my birthday falls on this day of great significance (and my mum will cook lots of nice food also =p).. but anyway, my family don't usually celebrate my birthday with me on this day, they normally celebrate for me on my lunar birthday... for this year, it so happens that my lunar bday is just tomorrow! especially this yr my mum say that better dun have any celebration today cos my great-grand mother's tomb is slightly damaged due to a falling tree i supposed, and they're supposed to be repairing it today, but in the end they're not goin to repair cos of the shortage of supply of sand -.-
anyway, thx sam, angel, lihao, nicholas, guihao, xinrou, khangjing, christine and more for ur bday greetings.. am glad to have these frens around me.. of cos not forgetting my family!!!
so that means i'll be travelling on my bday! wheeee~~

Monday was tuition day + wanying's house + gym... also went rivervale mall to get some stuff...

Yesterday night went out with gh, angel, yx, sam and xr.. thx gals for the advance bday celebration with me, and also the perfume like it lots... had dinner at ichiban sushi, hmmz the outlet at ps is better than the outlet at hougang mall... den we walked all the way to heeren juz to take neoprints, but xr dun wan to take...

it seems that heeren is quite a lucky place for me? always had good encounters or rather 'encounters' thru sms when im at heeren.. haha..

tuition + gym + driving today and it all sums up to fun fun and more fun lol... checked in at sia online and printed boarding passes.. yeah~~ so happy~~first time taking a plane... am so excited n looking forward to all the sight-seeing.. ^_^

TIRED.... *yawnz*
slept at 2am this morning and woke up at 5am.. cos going 扫墓。

Went to watch 纪念已故相声大师马季的相声表演with wanying at Downtown East yesterday.. It was a real nice performance, great laughter, great company :)
After coming back from limchukang today, had a new tuition, he stay juz near my blk.. as they are a english-speaking family, his chinese is really below average.. hopefully i'll be able to help.. haha.. wanted to come home and sleep after that, but kor & mum say they want to go fifth aunt house to get luggage and go parkway to change currencies..
okies, i must go and sleep now, cos tomorrow got tuition again. haha..

只想过着和常人一样的生活，看似简单，却是那么地困难。。。
常常是有苦难言，但总有人无中生有，把自己说得楚楚可怜，博取他人同情。或许应该说，有些人太过自我，总觉得自己的一点事情是天下人所需怜悯，我实在看不惯。不去听，不去看，就应该不会起冲突吧。好希望能够再和他聊天，只可惜，“豪梦难圆”。

最近迷上了《翡翠恋曲》，感觉言哥和希儿的恋情蛮令人感动的。

went settler's cafe with lib excos the other day, and it was really fun! all the board games are those that we never seen or heard of before.. liked the doctor lucky game, cos its kind of like cluedo, and i like this kind of thinking games... went loyang with mum after that..
yesterday finally came, as it was my driving lesson.. haha improve abit ba... nt as kanchiong as the last time... and i got 2 more doraemon magnets! exchanging 3 more and they're on their way now on mail to me now.. haha im crazy bout doraemon stuff... hoping to get more doraemon stuff on my trips to china n taipei.. haha...

喜欢与崇拜

崇拜一个人可以变成喜欢，但喜欢一个人却不可能变为崇拜他。曾几何时，对我深具影响力，令我十分崇拜与敬仰的人，已不在我身旁指点。或许应该说，他似乎不曾在我身旁指点过我，但他却曾教过我许多令我毕生难忘的人生哲理。也许是因为它在我彷徨是伸出援手，令我极为感动吧。
喜欢又是什么呢？小丁当？也许，只要是你见了就开心得人或事物，就叫做喜欢吧。

星期二是二月初二，大伯公诞。和妈妈和四姨妈到洛阳大伯公庙去，可真是人山人海啊。我曾说过我认为那里应该是新加坡香火最鼎盛的庙宇。总觉得那里的环境很好，可能是风水吧，每次到那里都绝的很舒畅。只可惜，庙宇将在六月二十二搬迁到洛阳大路去。

Went to gym with Wanying this morning, before going to watch Mr Bean at Princess... A very hilarious show, typical of Mr Bean's show... went honghua to look at the watches with her, before deciding to go bugis as it'll be much cheaper there.. was feeling sick so upon reaching bugis, got to foodcourt and she helped me buy a cup of hot milo.. thanks gal for taking care of me, else I might have fainted =p and sorry for not being able to accompany you to get the watch..
Looking forward to the outing with lib exco tomorrow, hopefully i'll be fine after a rest later..

Many deadlines are due this week, alot of things to settle here and there, hope i din missed out anything important...

Sunday:
went Hougang swimming before meeting sis, nick & jiaxin for dinner.. had decided on eating suki sushi beforehand, but they suddenly said that they are not hungry for buffet.. sadz... was actually looking forward to it haha.. so had dinner at ichiban sushi at hougang mall instead.. food was ok and filling, but of cos i'd prefer to eat at suki since the price amounts up to about the same as eating the buffet.. hmmz.. took neoprints afterthat and walk around awhile at hougang mall before going home, and got another 2 magnets from 7-11 =)






Monday:
a full day of events as usual, since monday is always my busiest day.. tuition in the morning, then went to white sands.. thought that the kopitiam is at level 4 and still under renovation, but actually it has already start its operation at level 3 *pengz* and I din realised it until i sms him haha.. so i rotted for 2 hours plus in the library reading books on sle n recipes n magazines lol.. had driving afterthat, and i drove to ubi! the traffic at ubi really heavy and alot of ppl learning driving there too.. now i understand why my papa always scold and complain about taxi drivers, cos they keep honking and uncle lee also said that most but not all taxi drivers are very irritating.. went back to tampines for tuition after that, and then went to gym at night.. sis actually asked me to go Zan's house to join her for dinner, in the end she got a scolding from my mum saying that she never ever cook for her(my mum) in her entire life and now she's cooking for Zan and his mum.. lol.. so my sis had to cook for us this thurs, wonder if it'll be edible.. haha..

Well.. Am supposed to meet up with lib excos today, but had to go sgh to get some reports, so missed the outing with them =(

Sometimes I really wonder, just what is the meaning of life. As I read in The Five People You Meet In Heaven, our life on earth is only just a beginning... People whom cross our path sometime in our life might be greatly affected by us, or we might be greatly affected by them without realising.. It seems very amazing, that a same incident will have different impacts on different people.. Why did I think of all these? It was because I start to wonder about whats the most important thing in life -- Health? Money? Happiness? Kinship? Love? I guess it's a difficult question that nobody has the answer for.. All these seems to be inter-connected, 全都是缺一不可的。Perhaps the most important thing is that no matter how bad/good a situation we are in, we should always remain positive, and cherish what we have now..

Had Mac breakfast with mum at Compass point yesterday... it's been a long time since i had mac breakfast, its really nice =)
Went to bugis with yx in the evening... it was some festival yesterday so the guan yin miao at si ma lu is really crowded.. had to queue to get in.. hmm.. shopped at bugis street, but din buy anything cos din see anything i like... only got a kiwi mask from missha... but it was great shopping trip for yx cos she got quite alot of stuff..

Had tuna with bread for my lunch today, want to finish eating the loaf of bread soon so that i can buy another one and get my doraemon magnet! went to gym with oer after tat, and am really tired after workout.. but feel very refreshed, so i really enjoy it! Read The Five People You Meet in Heaven on the way to outram, and it was rather inspiring, as in some of the quotes are really thoughts-provoking....

But after I went to sgh and doc lui advise me not to take civil engineering, all my happiness turns into sadness... I must say that I felt really sad after hearing what he said..... although i might not necessary get into it, but upon hearing what he said, i really feel very depressed............ of cos i knew what he meant, prevention is always better than cure..and i also don't want what that had happened last nov to happen again... its not just about physical pain, its more on psychological... on me, my family and friends... i am really at a lost now... really sad...

Went to gym again yesterday, with doris n oer, too bad wanying cant make it as she needs to pack her stuff. Then had lunch with them at Century Square before going home.
Anyway, am collecting the doraemon magnets from 7-11, so if anybody has it and don't mind giving me, thx in advance.. haha..

Realised alot of things for the past few months, like who are the ones who really care, who are the ones who understands me, who are the ones who are sincere.. I saved all the text msg i received from those who sent their regards to me then, as I want to always remember and bear in mind those who really care.. Anyway, it really taught me something -- kinship is strongest and certain ordeal will tie us closer together...

Why does it seems like not many ppl are supportive of me going into civil engineering? Although I'm not the type of people who will be greatly affected by what others' opinions are, but its always better to hear that people are supporting you. =p It may be a difficult course, but just too bad that my interest lies there.. Actually, coming to think of it, just 2 years ago I'd thought that I would definately be a Chinese teacher next time, but now, I think my interest lies more in Physics. Perhaps it is that person of great influence that made me have this great change? I hope this is really what I like, and what I'm good at. Afterall, I believe that aptitude is much more important than attitude.. Perhaps I don't have both.. Anyway, a few months ago just as I was deciding between engineering and chinese studies, I told myself that it'll depend on my grades, if my Physics is better than my Chinese, then I shall take engineering course, and vice versa, cos I think my 'a's are really really a test of my aptitude, as not much time were spent studying. Since it proves that my Physics is better than Chinese, be it by luck or my real 'talent', I shall go the engineering path..

Went to ntu & nus open house today, very crowded but not very useful, but anyway i've already decided on the courses to apply for, so just went for fun. after open house, went home first before going Ryan's birthday party. Had dinner there and they played blackjack again lol...

Is gambling really bad? I think that its not necessary so, it depends largely on a person's character, and who you are gambling with. Personally, I think that as long as you're not gambling with large amount of money, occasional gamble(with family/relatives) can improve one intellectually, and also forge bonds. BUT of course, all who are playing should have a 'its just a game' mindset. 正如同为人处事，都不应该把得与失看得太重。凡事有失必有得，钱输了可以再赚，但亲情如果丢失了，就再也寻不回了。懂得适可而止，那就能做到小赌怡情了。

have got nothing much to blog about, except for some questions from somebody which for some reason i also don't have the answers. i really have no idea how to answer that fren when that question is asked, so i just replied something which makes no sense to 敷衍，可是我自己却很想知道答案。
向别人交待可以很简单，也可以很复杂，但对自己交待，绝对是复杂的。
两点之间最短的距离并不一定是直线。
偶尔思考，应该是有益的吧。

driving

tuition for Bryen in the morning, and he was mischievious as usual, bothering me about the number of stickers that he had.. went to white sands after that, food court still under renovation, so had to settle my lunch with mac, sadz.. buried myself in books in library, and 2 hours passed by very quickly.. and then it was my driving lesson! have been looking forward to it since last week, (and im now looking forward to next week's lesson lol ^_^) more clutch today, and went up to gear four.. traveling on the old tampines road is rather scary, cos the cars and big lorries there are all traveling at high speeds, and i bet they must be swearing that they met this learner driver in front of them, lol. he let me drive all the way to my tuition venue, and it was really fun!! had tuition for bryen's sis and cousin, and they were much more obedient than bryen, perhaps becos they are older.. had dinner at tampines after tuition before going home..

bro is going to buy new car! haha toyota altis, so cool, hopefully i'll be able to pass my tpp soon then i can drive his car.. =p

元宵节快乐！

小王子：“泪水渗透的悲哀之乡，是变幻莫测的。”
幸好，我不曾属于这悲哀之乡……因为我懂得什么叫做极限。
我不曾在昨天留下遗憾，因为我充实地过每个‘今天’，并且对明天充满希望。

A Levels

Collected A level results yesterday.. Physics-B, Higher Chinese-C, Maths-D, GP-C6.. Its not impressive, I know. But this is exactly what I expected, so I'm contented, really. Though it still doesn't feel good to hear those people who got much better results yet am complaining. But its ok after awhile, because I know everyone has their own expectations, and for me, this result is really an achievement and I can't ask for more.

I wanted very much to thank Nicholas for being so understanding, and also my relatives for expressing their concerns. It is heartwarming to know that there are still people around who really put themselves in my shoes and give me truthful comments. But unfortunately, not everyone is as understanding.

Anyway, I'm really really very happy to get B for my Physics, and am glad that it is my best subject, so at least I've not let Mr Chan down because he gave me lots of encouragement last Nov. Now, I just hope that I'll be able to get into Civil Engineering at NUS or Maritime Studies in NTU.

昨天，今天和明天

昨天已成为过去，今天是现在所有的，而明天是无法预测的未来。
有人说我们不应该活在过去，应该展望将来。但我认为，人应该不时替换身份，活在昨天，今天和明天，因为昨天能让我们吸取经验，学习更好的生活方式。今天是现实的一面，而明天却是虚幻的，但虚幻之中又含有希望的部分。。。

Sunday was 初八 so was preparing stuff to 拜天公...
Relatives came our house on Monday, and it was so crowded.. It was fun preparing the food with Mum since afternoon after my tuition.. and my relatives said that the 宫保鸡丁that I cooked was nice.. haha.. had some games of dice and blackjack and poker as usual.. and my cousin-in-law is so lucky as a banker for blackjack.. he won more than 1K at my aunty's house on Sat and at our house he also won a few hundred... anyway, my relatives are amazed by my huge collection of doraemon haha am so happy..

Tuesday was my first driving lesson! though abit nervous at first, but after awhile it get alrite and it was rather fun.. haha.. looking forward to the next lesson!

went to watch Just Follow Law with Sam yesterday at tm... very funny show though we din get to finish watching cos there was a blackout at GV -_- so we got a refund which means we got to watch more than 3/4 of the show for free... lol.. then we took neoprints..

Chinese New Year

初一：
third uncle & family visited us in the afternoon, this year with a baby -- Xavier 胜凯。He's so cute, only 2+ months old but already knows how to recognise people and he seems to be very happy.. haha.. anyway, went to sengkang 崇义宫to pray first then go to 二舅house. As usual, we were the last to reach.. haha.. didn't do anything much except gambling lol.. 五姨妈open chap tee kee for awhile before dinner, then we play poker after dinner.. hmm.. went to the fitness corner near their house, and chatted with sis and Guanquan, discussing about uni life and i asked him more about engineering courses.. and ya, of cos he say that nus is better that ntu.. but perhaps its not up to me to choose which uni to go... took some photos with his new phone also... went off rather early this year, maybe becos no more chap tee kee? haha..

初二：
went to 五姨妈house to 捞鱼生then go to third uncle's place.. travelled from pasir ris all the way to boon lay.. my bro was complaining about wasting his petrol lol cos we went back to pasir ris again from boon lay to go 四姨妈house.. as usual, played poker and chap tee kee until late nite.. sis asked me to join her for mahjong at home, but was too tired as i have to wake up early next morning...

初三：
woke up early in the morning at 8am, to go shurong's house with lib exco... thanks gal for the pizza treat.. played some card games, and bomber man on her playstation.. left at 12+ to go for 13/05 class gathering.. met at simei and only a few girls turn up.. anyway, really have to thank ben ow for organising and being a good host.. played blackjack with them and won a little and they said its due to my red hair? lol... went to 三舅house after that for dinner and poker again.. haha..

初四：
slept alot alot to compensate for my lost of sleep the past few days.. lol.. went to 三姨妈house in the evening for dinner and saw Lifang cousin's baby--Joshua.. he's 6+ months old and also very cute and active... and it was poker time again after dinner.. haha it seems that everywhere i go also gamble.. lol that's our family.. 正所谓小赌怡情.. but its not that small for the banker..

初五：
tuition in the morning.. then played 四色牌with parents and kor in the afternoon.. finally a day at home.. some relatives visited us though.. so it was still a rather fun-filled day..

today:
juz woke up, will be going to 二姨妈house later, guess will be playing poker again..

had alot of dreams these few days.. im always very curious and puzzled about the origins and interpretations of dreams.. wondered if they really do have any meanings.. it seems that no matter how advanced science and technology is, there's no way to decode dreams and no one will be able to give an explaination for having dreams.. 日有所思，夜有所梦。but sometimes, our dreams are really fantasies, so how can they be what we're thinking in the day?

新年快乐！

新春快乐!恭祝大家过个大肥年！
昨晚是除夕夜，和家人在家享用团圆饭后便前往滨海的春到河畔迎新春。这是我们每年的惯例，一定会在团圆饭后到那儿去，并在开年前回家迎新年。那里真的是人山人海，新春气息洋溢四周。以下是一些照片：


我和哥

和哥+姐在地铁

全家福

我和龙大哥

和妈妈和姐姐

Death Penalty

这世界应该有死刑吗？我认为，所谓的杀人偿命，血债血还根本是不可理喻的。既然大家都知道杀人是错的，那为何还要将那杀人犯置之死的呢? 丧失亲人的滋味不好受，那为什么还要让那杀人犯的亲人也承受那种痛苦呢？我们应该做的，是给予他帮助与辅导，让他有个重获新生的机会。
我相信人性本善。人之所以会犯错肯定是受到某事件的影响或刺激，才会萌生恶念。
又是谁给予总统杀人的“权力”？他们不也是个普通人？为何他们就能拥有剥夺他人性命的特权？

did not go for NTU talks on Sun cos sis had rashes so had to help her tuition at The Mentor... missed the talk Maritime Studies and Civil Engineering.. sadz.. but nvm, guessed there'll be another chance after release of results..
anyway, received a call from Sandy saying that she wants me to help her 2 elder children tuition also! haha so happy.. okies, though not earning as much as wanying, but my 20+ hours per mth can get me some half k.. haha.. my earnings will increase if sis ask me to help her go tuition, and if i got a few relief teaching jobs..
going out for dinner with guihao and xinrou later at tampines.. then will be back home to prepare ingredients for popiah!

went Chinatown with sihui and raf on thurs, and it was really crowded even though its a weekday.. had dinner at BK before we shopped the streets.. bought some goodies and muah chee.. had a great time catching up with them, and we might be going back for june camp! yupz that will be very fun..
went JB with mum yesterday.. did abit of shopping and i finally got a shirt to match my skirt! tried the shihlin xxl chicken chop there and its only rm5.50.. rather big portion.. had a nice trip with quite alot of stuff purchased before heading home.. but im so unlucky that i felt dizzy upon reaching home.. sadz.. then vomitted after dinner.. luckily after some self-medication and sleep, im fine now! haha..
and yupz, did i mention that i went meridian pri for relief teaching on monday.. though its only a 1 day job, but it was a nice experience.. even though the kids are abit noisy and i cant really control them lol..
going to buy 年货tonight! am so excited.. have been packing my room in preparation for cny and i shall put up my decorations either later or tomorrow.. oh ya, sis is back from thailand! but haven't seen her yet, so waiting for her to come home tonight.. ya im more looking forward to the presents she got for us =p
off to read my national geographic..

如果

曾经写过一篇作品-“如果”。在那篇作品的结尾，我说不想再说如果了。可是如今，我又幻想了很多很多的如果。。。
如果当初我没有入院，如果我在学校考试，如果我有精力与时间准备，如果我和正常人一样，如果这一切的如果能实现，那该有多好？或许事情没我想象的那么糟。。。旁人对我的期望越高，我就越担心。我担心会辜负了他们对我的殷切期望。确实，我已尽力了，但毕竟当时不是我的最佳状态。
两年前也在会考前经历一件令我心情低落的事件。可是在某人的劝导下，我了解到每件事情的发生都有值得我们学习的地方，而我也渐渐地重拾心情，慢慢地学会忘记。可是为何上天就是如此的不公平？为何要选择在那关键时刻？我从来就不是个怨天尤人的人，可这回我不得不叹说“不公平！”
家人与亲戚都说健康重要，学业次要。我当然晓得，但是我真的不敢想象如果我今年底还需重考。也许我显得很潇洒，说最多就重考，那是因为我曾以为那是不可能发生的事。但现在想想，几率还蛮高的。我不是在意旁人怎么说，我只是觉得很可惜。。。

about me

okies.. being tagged by sam to do this... haha...

Layer ONE: On the Outside
Name: Seah Hui Xin
Birth date: 05/04/1988
Current status: 18, single
Eye colour: Black
Hair colour: Red magenta
Righty or lefty: Righty
Zodiac sign: Dragon

Layer TWO: On the Inside
Your heritage: Chinese
Your fears: Things to happen at wrong timing...
Your weaknesses: Don't like to explain everything to everyone...
Your perfect pizza: All pieces having different flavours to suit the taste of all who r eating lol..

Layer THREE: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: I still want to sleep...
Your bedtime: 11++
Your most missed memory: talking to the somebody of great influence.. lol.. CCS days in cchms & lib days in tjc..

Layer FOUR: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: no preference..
Macdonalds or Burger King: depends on my mood.. haha
Single or group dates: alternate? haha
Adidas or Nike: adidas, but i prefer new balance..
Lipton tea or Nestea: Lipton tea
Chocolate or vanilla: Choco!
Cappucino or coffee: white coffee without sugar..

Layer FIVE: Do you..
Smoke: nopez
Curse: nopez
Gone to the mall: yupz of cos.. lol
Been on stage: yupz...
Eaten sushi: yupz...
Dyed your hair: yupz..

Layer SIX: Have You Ever
Played a stripping game: nope!
Changed who you were to fit in: nope and i never will cos i don't think there's such a need...

Layer SEVEN:
AgeYou're hoping to be married: leave it to fate...

Layer EIGHT: In a Girl/Guy
Best eye colour: no preference..
Best hair colour: no preference..

Layer NINE: What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago: Answering some other layers
1hour ago: cooking fried rice!
1.5 hours ago: on bus home from tampines...
1 month ago: shopping at ikea tampines with lib exco after badminton..
1 year ago: juz any other normal sch day i think..

Layer TEN: Finish the Sentence
I love: my family! doraemon! gallen lo! haha
I feel: trying to enjoy live live to the fullest..
I hate: ppl who are insensitive with words..
I hide: My feelings
I miss: normal life...

went Chinatown with parents on Sat nite, the 亮灯仪式。Though its very crowded, but like to go and kueh seoh, like that then have CNY atmosphere ma.. lol... went to Popular at The Majestic before my parents reached, and the Chinese books there are having promotions! Up to 70%, and so I bought 2 books.. haha a great deal indeed...
had tuition at The Mentor on Sunday, and had a new Sec 2 student joining the class.. tuition was ok esp with Roland entertaining us... went hougang mall with nick after tuition for dinner, and he had salad as usual. lol.. was talking about the difference between Orang Utan and Gorilla and i was saying they both look the same except for the color, so he say go popular to look at the books.. and we conclude that Orang Utans are the ones with smiling and Gorilla are often with a sad face.. lol... chatted alot with him and had a drink at Kopitiam while watching soccer match between Thailand and Vietnam before heading home.
looking forward to the tuition class on Sun. haha.. anyway this week is a busy week i have events planned almost the whole week till next Mon.. lol.. going to enjoy myself!


I sometimes wonder if it is just another excuse for me to behave this way or is it what I ought to be. I seriously don't want to blame everything on it and create excuses to make myself feel better, but is it actually a fact or not? I really do not have the answer. I wish I can be just like any other person, working and leading a normal life, but sometimes I really have no idea if it will be possible, be it now or in the future. Even they can't assure me of what's going to happen in the future, because they have no idea what are those anti-bodies! All they can do is to try to keep it under control, but they can't promise me, they can't give me gurantees.........
I really don't like this kind of life. I know I should think positively, but sometimes, its hard to especially if I have to deal with all kinds of people......

黑暗也是一种力量。人，就是从挫折中成长与累积经验。为何？为何总是发生在那么关键的时刻？一年四季，就得选在那将断定我的前程的时刻发作吗？上天为何如此的不公平？我有很多很多的问号，但我知道，不是所有问题都有答案的。。。

finally meet up with gh they all on sat.. its been so long, actually we did meet up after the 'a's, but sat's meeting was more fun! went shopping at vivo, chinatown to check out tour packages, then to orchard for dinner.. sadz that angel cant join us, but hopefully our planned trip to jb for food+shopping will be successful!

somehow you will know that there are always some frens out there who'll always be there for you, and although we may not be seeing each other very often, we all know that we will remain as best friends... perhaps some ppl might think otherwise, and what i said does not apply to all frens also... but i shall say that im lucky to have a group of frens whom i can really count on in times of need.. they might not see this, but i juz want to say that i really cherish our frenship...

however, there are also ppl who are insensitive with words, perhaps its becos im too sensitive? but anyway, im tryiing hard not to take it to heart, because its juz a waste of my time.. have heard alot of rumours about that person even before knowing her, but i din know it was her after we came rather good frens... indeed those rumours somehow affected my impression towards her, but overall it did not affect much, cos i believe that what's most important is what i see and what i perceive.. but perhaps as time pass by, i got to know more about her insensitive-ness.... really... i hate to talk about it, but whenever she says something so insensitive that hurts me, i cant help it but to feel sad.. 我们当酒肉朋友就算了吧！

met up with wanying and xinrou last thurs, intending to watch one last dance, but in the end we toss a coin to decide between one last dance and pans labyrinth. and we watched pans labyrinth, not a very nice show i would say, it seems that the fairytale is only a small portion of the show and not really link to the whole show, but there are some funny parts though.. went suntec after movie and walk around before going home...

went for badminton at tampines changkat with the usual ppl on sat, quite a nice game, and we walk to simei eastpoint after that. eastpoint had some renovation i think, and there are more shops now, kinda like marina square those small small shops.. bought a pink skirt..

sun was a rainy day, went to yishun for brunch then to woodlands... taufik was at causeway point for some autograph session, that explains the big crowd there.. anyway, nth much to shop as i have nth much to buy..

went tuition on mon before going ps to watch one last dance! finally.. yupz it was a nice show though a bit complicated. got a pair of nike shoes also =)

sometimes in life, many things are better left unexplained, because not everyone understands. sometimes even people closest at heart will hurt you because they failed to understand, so it'll be a better choice not to explain at all. this sounds kind of familiar, did i write this before 2 years ago? anyway, we learn through different situations in different stages of life...

going to watch these 2 movies!

movies

going to watch these 2 movies!

new year resolutions

i realised that i haven't written my new year resolutions.. it's 9 days late, but i shall still write:
1. better health for me and family
2. good results that allows me to get into Maritime Studies/Chinese Studies
3. learn driving
4. beijing trip with family
5. forget about the unhappiness in the past year
6. relief teaching job
7. exercise more
8. stop pred
i guess that's about all? haha.. anyway tuition is a good way to earn money.. short hours but good pay.. lol..

went to watch Night At the museum last sat after badminton at tampines.. a really hilarious show.. haven't watched such a funny show for a long time.. going to watch One Last Dance and Que Sheng 3..

its already the 4th day of the new year 2007! but what have i achieved??? dreamt of alot of things... alot of classmates, frens, teachers.. perhaps i'm too free? juz like 2 years ago when he said the same thing to me? I am wondering if i should apply at cfps, but its kinda far..

anyway, went to Cote 'D Azur yesterday for turkey feast.. wanted to swim but kinda lazy after eating.. =p wanted to go Parkway also, but its rather late and i havent got anything to buy...

nth much to update.. sis is back from genting! she'll be home tonite... wanna see wat goodies she bought for us.. haha..

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all!!!

30th Dec 2006:
went East Coast Park picnic cum cycling with lib excos.. only singwei, shurong, raf, sihui n me but its very fun! haha cycle double-seater with raf, first time trying the double-seater, not as hard though.. yupz and i made potato salad, and we also had sandwiches, cookies, chips n cakes.. played dai dee and some other card games before we finish the potato salad.. then went cycling... after that we played at the beach before heading home.. really nice outing.. havent been to the beach for a long time, and i really enjoyed it.. ^_^

at night went bbq at liqing cousin's house.. feels nice to see the relatives again, feel just like chinese new year.. haha.. but my aunties and cousin-in-law said i gained looked better(meaning i gained fats..) sadz.. but nvm, hopefully i'll be back to normal after stopping the medicine.. an enjoyable day!

New year eve:
slept almost the whole day away, cos am really tired... went punggol plaza with mum at night... and then went home and sleep through the new year...

New Year:
woke up and its a brand new 2007! received lots of sms greetings from frens and even from Mrs Kee! so surprised.. anyway, hopefully year 2007 is a great year ahead, with lots of happiness and peace and love and hope and all the good things! for my family, my frens as well as for myself!